It all started in December 2006 Mr Woggie gave me For Christmas 2006 gave me Dr. Miriam Stoppard's book "Conception, Pregnancy & Birth. On the inside of the cover he wrote "Dear Mrs Woggie, This is a special gift making Christmas '06 one to remember for what there is ahead of us. The best is yet to come." A year later, I wonder if he knew what 2007 and the first 3 months of 2008 was going to be like would he change that message.
"The best is yet to come" that was the motto for our adventure of bringing another life into this world, a life that we had made.
In January of 2007, I went to the doctor for the pre-conception care check up. I had blood tests and I remember posting about it here at maternal, I was petrified, but I kept thinking it is worth it because I will have a baby soon.
In April I took my last pill, and so the baby making began May.
Cylce #1
I also started temping, I ovulated on CD 13 so I was rather happy that my body was behaving itself, the first month off the pill! We baby danced every second day, which was very impressive since Dean was on afternoon shift. I was convinced we would be one of those lucky couples who got pregnant on their first go.
Cyle # 2
I WAS going to get pregnant is, how could I not? That month I was rushed to hospital with 40 degree temperatures and not being able to breathe, I had loads of blood tests done, a number of different breathing tests and X-Rays. "Are you pregnant?" the radiographer said "It is possible, I could be in the two week wait" I replied. The radiographer looked at me like I was a crazy woman "So in other words you are not pregnant?" He didnt even let me answer before he started taking happy snaps of my lungs. After this eventful illness which lasted about 2 weeks, I had an allergic reaction to the anti-biotics they gave me....thrush...it was lovely. I was too embarrassed to go to the chemist to get some medication for it, so darling Dean went and got it for me, the poor guy must have wanted to hide in a hole. About 3 days later Dean got thrush. By this time we were well and truly into our August cycle and before it had begun it was over. After the thrush I got a UTI. So cycle two, was if nothing a disaster.
Cycle # 3
we were both fighting fit and raring to go, I decided not to temp because surely if I wasnt paying too much attention to it, a pregnancy was going to be the result! September came and went and I got AF this was the first time I cried because of TTC. I couldn't understand why I was not pregnant.
Fast forward to October and November for some good news and I set myself a goal "Be pregnant by Christmas" you can save a lot of money by not buying Christmas gifts for people if you tell them you are pregnant!! Every day I would envision telling my mum and Dean's parents that I was pregnant. So we tried and it turned out that I didnt ovulate around day 12 anymore I ovulated on day 17.. DAY 17!! That explained everything we stopped baby dancing around day 15 because Dean was on afternoon shift...we could do this!! I finally new why I wasn't pregnant!! I now knew I would see a bfp before Christmas!!
In December I got offered a job, a permanent job, something I had been waiting for, for 4 years. We decided we would stop trying straight away and wait until March so I could have at least 1 year teaching without having to take time off. I ovulated during that week. We had DTD a few days before I ovulated and I was excited, I was so sure that this was going to be a case of Murphy's Law, I would get my dream job and my dream of a baby. I was really looking forward to the end of this cycle! The following week I was told "Sorry Kirsten, the numbers at the school have dropped, we can't offer you a position anymore." I was devestated, I cried and cried and cried. Why me, kept on going through my head, I cant have the 2 things I want the most, a job and a baby. I would be happy if I just had one.
In January I've found out that, I have a short LP and honestly dont even know if it is possible to get pregnant. Concerns are starting to set in. What if there is something wrong with me? What if there is something wrong with Dean? Can we fix it?? I am starting to believe I will never see those lovely 2 lines, I can't even imagine the joyous feeling that goes along with seeing them. In the begining, Mr Woggie and I used to have bets and to the chance that I would be pregnant. It used to be 90% YES 10% NO. Over time the odds we have given ourselves have slowly dropped, I asked Dean the for the first time in a few months last night "What is the chance I will be pregnant" "80% 20%" he said, I commented that it was good he was still feeling so positive that we could do it "Mrs Woggie, I mean 80% no, 20% yes" My heart almost broke. My husband the most positive person in the world, is starting to believe maybe we cant do this.
I wrote this on the 7th of January but have only got the courage to put it up for the world to see now...
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