*Sigh* a friend told me she is pregnant with her second today "After a long time TTC" Hmmm, her first is less than a year old so they can't have been at it that long, surely? I could feel my eyeballs burning holes in her head I was staring at her so hard, scared that if I would blink, I would break down into one of those "Why not me" moments.
On top of that we got another $1049 bill from the hospital, I still haven't parted with the $998 we owe them from last week. They will just have to wait, the money is all that I control in my life at the moment so for now it is staying in my pocket.
We are going away for the weekend, to the IL's I love, love, love them but I know because I haven t talked to them or seen them since the operation it is going to be 101 questions and I don't know if I have that in me right now, something tells me I do, some how I always manage to find whatever it is I need to pull it together to act happy around other people. I'm starting to think of myself as a fake.
I'm in the TWW, or at least I think I am in the TWW. I don't hold out much hope we have done the deed twice but I don't know if it was the right time or not, I must have had some hope on Sunday because I went into a fabric store and bought a pattern for baby clothes. They are so cute, and I know that if...I mean WHEN the time comes and I do make the cloths for my baby, it will look dreadful, but I don't care because a. by the time this child is born we will have no money left from trying to make it, haha! and b. because they will be made with all the love I hold in my heart for my not yet conceived baby.
1 comment:
It's never easy to deal with your friend who gets pregnant, especially, if she gets pregnant fast. But I think from what I've learnt is that if a friend is sensitive towards your feelings, then you'll know she's a friend to keep.
*hugs*
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