Thursday, September 18, 2008

One month today

Since we lost Baby Woggie. I can't believe it, it has gone so fast. It feels like it was years ago but that it only happened just last week.

Ironically, I got my period this morning. I feel ok about that. I knew that I wasn't going to get pregnant from an "accident" I was quietly hoping I was, but I knew that I wouldn't, so now we are back to square one, or rather cycle day one.

I honestly (and it feel so ridiculous saying this) don't know if I am more scared of not getting pregnant again or getting pregnant again. I don't know if I could handle another miscarriage and I know I shouldn't even worry about that until or if it happens again, but I just can't help it.

Don't get me wrong. I want to get pregnant again, I had a dream last night I had a baby belly (it was so lovely) but I'm so annoyed that IF and a miscarriage has taken away my desire to be able to enjoy pregnancy.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I won't lie to you, it is hard being pregnant after a miscarriage. I definitely wasn't as attached to our last little baby :(
But, I've heard that the best cure for getting through a miscarried baby's EDD is to be pregnant again.
Good luck in whatever you decide is right for you.

Anonymous said...

of course hon, I would expect I would feel the same if that happened to me.

But, KEEP GOING darl!!! You will get there in the not to distant future, I can feel it in my bones!

Just Me. said...

I would definitely have felt like what you are feeling now. It's only normal. In the IF world, there's always too many IF questions mucking around with the head.

I know you will pull through this. It's hard, I know. I wish I could take the pain away. I will be praying for you that you'll reach your resolution, very very soon.

(((((huge hugs to you my dear friend)))))))

Michelle said...

I know exactly how you feel. The whole thing sucks!! Hang in there! ((HUGS))

Jessica Lerch said...

I understand exactly what you mean even tho I haven't been there myself.

Take one day at a time & see what the future will bring!