Spotting

You bloody (literally) bastard!

I started getting brown tinged CM last night and while that is a great sign AF is on it's way and no I'm not upset that I'm not pregnant because sex twice with condoms = not pregnant. I'm very very annoyed that I am spotting. For me spotting is probably my first endo symptom, closely followed by excruciating pain. I'm quite devastated that I only had one period without spotting. It makes me so freaking scared that it is coming back and it is all going to take another 18 months and end in another miscarriage. I was trying so hard to be positive about getting pregnant and now I just feel shitty again. I feel like the lap was for nothing and that we are back at square one. I just don't know how much more I can take, it feels like knock after knock after knock. When will something, just one thing go right? I just want something to go my way. For once.