I'm feeling a little crappy this morning. I know in my heart I'm not pregnant, I'm just going through all the motions of thinking maybe I am, maybe I'm not. But I know I'm not. I don't feel like I felt in the days leading up to my BFP last time, I feel, exactly the way I have felt for 17 cycles out of the last 18. Like shit.
The next cycle is our last cycle TTC, in a way I'm feeling sad about it, I'm sad that it means it's our last chance of doing it without injections and medical instruments, I don't care about the sex because even that has become like a business transaction these. We are not going to TTC over Christmas because I want to be happy, not upset, not stressed. I remember last Christmas I was convinced that it was my last Christmas without a baby. What a fool. Although that doesn't stop me from thinking that I'll have a baby next Christmas. I'm in a rut. Please help me out.
7 comments:
I'm really sorry. I feel for you. I'm feeling rather crappy myself today. Hopefully we'll both feel better soon.
Oh hun :(
I wish I could fly up right now and give you a big hug.
I hate the feeling of not having any hope.
Take care sweetie
xoxox
oh hon....you *might* be wrong...you thought you weren't pregnant when you were last time too.
You know me, I will be eternally optimistic until the crimson bitch arrives...
im keeping everything crossed that u are hun!!
xoxooxo sending u massive hugs
I'm hopping on the optimistic train!
Fingers, toes, and whatever else will cross...crossed!
I'm sorry you feel bad. I wish none of us had to experience this. I know it's hard for you because I too can't keep the optimism for myself so we will all be optimistic for you until we find out differently. After all if we don't have HOPE what do we have? I will keep everything crossed for you. ((HUGS))
*hug* I'm thinking of you.
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