I blog for various reasons, to get it all out and to share in my journey of infertility. This is my story warts and all. I vent, about people genearlly not specific people, for a number of reasons. I know what it is like to read hurtful things about yourself, and usually the experiences I have with the good and bad people don't just occur from a specific person, usually its a culmination of annoying things that upset me, usually from uneducated people. I also have family and friends that I know read this blog and sometimes, it is easier for them to read this to know how I'm feeling than having to spill the beans and actually talk about it. And honestly, there is only so many times you can retell the story about the day you had your miscarriage.
I don't mind people sharing my story to give others hope, or light or faith or information, that pleases me. What doesn't please me, is when parts of my story get left out or fabricated. I've told friends of friends they can contact me for support or information. And recently I found out that someone has been sharing my story (or airing my dirty laundry as I've heard someone say :D ) And they were not informed that my 'miracle pregnancy' ended in miscarriage, which upsets me because whilst I want my story to give others hope, I don't feel it is ok, to dismiss the baby that I had and leave that part out. Not for me, for my baby. YES I got pregnant, YES that is a miracle, but I lost my baby, don't forget that part.
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I haven't written about my endo for a while, so I thought I would take the opportunity to do it now. I didn't get severe cramps last cycle, the cramps were still there but not the kind where i can't sit up and they make me vomit! But I've been getting the pain in other places, like when Mr. Woggie and I *cough, cough* DTD and when I need to go to the toilet, I've read these are both common problems and thought that thus far I was lucky enough not to get them. Julie the FS said that if my endo was going to come back I'd probably notice it within 4 months of the lap, and what do you know, it's almost been 4 months.
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3 comments:
Just wondering what that would mean for you. I had my lap Tuesday and they found some very small fibroids and Endo (which I didnt know I had). I don't have any advice for you, but I do know how you feel with everything. I am tired of the hurtful comments that are meant to be well intented, but still. No one really knows unless they are living it or have lived it!
Hmmmm.....Now I've heard that endo does come back. Do get it checked.
I konw what you mean about hurtful comments. Sigh. I just deal with it like a chronic back pain. Sometimes, I tolerate them, and then sometimes, when it gets too much, I "crocodile" them - i snap BIG BIG time!
*hugs*
You're right. I get so hurt when people are scared to mention my miscarriages, like it's the plague or something....
My best friend was one of those ppl and I finally told her that this is something I NEED to talk about and if she can't accept that (and not feel 'uncomfortable') then our friendship wasn't as strong as I thought it was. Well, now I can bring it up whenever I want and she's completely supportive. I think ppl just need that 'slap in the face' about it to realize that this IS our life, not WAS our life. It will ALWAYS be a part of our life.
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