Feeling Hot, Hot, Hot!!!

I'll tell you what! Right now is not the best time to be making (or trying to make) a baby. For the last 2 days it's been 31-32 degrees INSIDE the house! And if that isn't enough - the humidity has been around 80% nice, really nice. It's kind of like having your own sauna quite lovely really....NOT - I hate sauna's I've never been a fan of sitting in a room full of steam, sweating my butt off. Just not my thing really, ironically I live in a city that makes you feel like that all summer long - I always have and probably always will.

Of course that amount of humidity means wonderful storms in the afternoon or evening, they are quite spectacular to watch, although now every time a storm hits I worry about my Mum, I just can't help it - for one whole week we were getting water out of her downstairs area. She is yet to have the Insurance assessors come over - I suspect they are quite busy - according to news.com.au the damage bill will likely exceed about $25 million (AU). She does have the phone on now - she was about 2 weeks without it, her pool is starting to look a lot better now - you still can't see the bottom much for all the silt and dirt! Dean spent a good 3 hours vacuuming it the other week and there is still a few hours to clean it up to go. Across the road from her house they have made the park into a green waste area - so all of the fallen trees were taken to that park. Now they have all been chipped and there is 4 piles of chips that are about 5m high by 5m wide and probably 10 long. It's quite a sight.

On Friday night - I was at breaking point - everything seemed to hit me all at once, it had actually been building up (as you can tell from my neurotic posts last week) and on Friday night a disaster in the bedroom made me break. I honestly felt like I was done like I couldnt keep going on with this infertility thing, but since getting it all out I've been feeling remarkably clear headed and not so stressed and anxious.

I'm still reading "An Empty Picture Frame" and I think that it is helping me - because the autor has so eloquently described how I have felt on so many occasions that I've never been able to put words too. If you are a fertile and know a fertile, I really reccomend you read this book to try to get a small understanding of how it can feel to be infertile. If you are an infertile and have not read the book - I highly reccomend you do. There are funny parts and sad parts but it has helped me to feel comfortable with being infertile, well, comfortable for now.

In other news, I'm CD16....still waiting to ovulate *insert eye rolling emoticon here* Ovulating on time has always been my fortay, sure there has been the odd cycle where it's been late, or early but for the most part - I've been a regular 'O'er' for a long time. Not now it seems. I'm glad I stuck it out with the OPKs this month - I've been doing them since CD10 getting light lines and I was worried that there was something seriously strange going on. The OPK I did today came back positive so I guess that means I'll ovulate sometime between now and CD18. Which means I don't know when I will get AF....which I hate. All my cycles since the lap have been 31 days, except for the last one which was 29 days. It will be interesting to see what happens this time round - I'll be placing my money on a 31 day cycle given my late ovulation....which means I'm not going have that much time to get over disapointment in time for Christams if I get my period. Anyhow, for now I'm still holding onto hope of giving all my family wrapped up positive HPTs for Christams.