It was Mothers Day (like it is today) I was helping to dig up my mothers back yard and I got my period. It was the worst day of my life. I remember being miserable, cranky and pissed off at the world for not making me a mother already.
Although today wasn't a great day, that day back in 2008 hasn't been far from my mind and has reminded me that even though my first mothers day may not have been good - I'm so so so so SO lucky to have my little boy. I wouldn't change a single thing about him. He is the light of my life.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Trying not to try
You read right. I hate/d it when people would say things like that and then hey presto! be pregnant in a jiffy! I never got pregnant in a jiffy and to be quite honest I'm jealous of people who do. Still am, always will be. Especially those who don't 'try' for their second child and get pregnant again, really quickly. First time fertiles - I can somewhat handle. Second time fertiles - I cannot.
I don't think it's always been this way. I think after a year or so of trying for our first/second/third pregnancy I hated first time fertiles more. I think it's only now we are trying for our second (or not trying or trying not to try) that I care about people getting pregnant quickly with their second and subsequent children.
This whole trying not to try thing is so foreign to me now. I'm sure last time we did that for a decent amount of time, but I honestly can't remember TTC without the tears and the heartache at the end of each cycle. I'm trying my best to be a good little infertile and relax but I'm totally shit scared that it will take a long time again. I couldn't even cope and get myself out of bed in the mornings let alone looking after a baby aswell, I guess this time I'll have to be tougher about it. Who am I kidding? I'm a much more emotional person now that I'm a mummy than before. God help me, any anyone else who has to be around me during this time!
I'm trying to positive, really, I am. But TTC and positive just don't sit well for me.
I don't think it's always been this way. I think after a year or so of trying for our first/second/third pregnancy I hated first time fertiles more. I think it's only now we are trying for our second (or not trying or trying not to try) that I care about people getting pregnant quickly with their second and subsequent children.
This whole trying not to try thing is so foreign to me now. I'm sure last time we did that for a decent amount of time, but I honestly can't remember TTC without the tears and the heartache at the end of each cycle. I'm trying my best to be a good little infertile and relax but I'm totally shit scared that it will take a long time again. I couldn't even cope and get myself out of bed in the mornings let alone looking after a baby aswell, I guess this time I'll have to be tougher about it. Who am I kidding? I'm a much more emotional person now that I'm a mummy than before. God help me, any anyone else who has to be around me during this time!
I'm trying to positive, really, I am. But TTC and positive just don't sit well for me.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Quilting up a storm.
I'm really not the least bit crafty, I made a quilt back in year 12 (that was 11 years ago, in 99) anyway at that time my sweet cousin (who is also my best friend) loved it. I told her that when she had her first baby I'd make her one (thinking that we were both too young, and would always stay young and never have children!) Anyway 6 weeks she gave birth to a beautiful little girl Ayda so I really had to get a wriggle on with the quilt that I hadn't even started!
I googled quilts for baby girls and got a link to The Moda Bake Shop Blog And fell in love with this quilt. However instead of using the Moda Coin Stack - I just used other fabrics that I liked from Spotlight, mainly because I didn't want to spend an arm and a leg on fabric when I can barely sew in a straight line anymore!
Anyway I've been sewing off and on for the last 6 weeks and am just about to do the finishing touches (the binding and 'quilting') This is what it's looking like at the moment.
Now I've got the sewing bug I've decided to make a quilt for Master C. I've found a pattern that I like and the fabrics I like so now I just need to make it all happen!
Other exciting things in my life at the moment are Master C sleeping through for the first time on Saturday night and for the second time last night (Sunday). We've been trying to communicate, settle, re-settle and use a waking 'routine' from Sheyne Rowley's Dream Baby Guide and we (I) stopped breastfeeding over night and it's worked a treat. It's not strict or hash like SOS is, but focuses more on using communication, food and daily play time to solve sleep problems than cry it out methods. I don't expect that he will do it every night but once every now and then would be great!
We have no been trying to concieve our second child since March. I was really hopeful it would happen first and second go but it didn't. I know that 3 months, 6 months or even 9 months isn't that long in the scheme of things but I was just hoping to be one of those people that could just fall pregnant at the drop of a hat. This time we won't be telling anyone that we are trying for our second baby or telling anyone until the 12 week mark - due to the lack of excitement we received first time round. So if/when it happens, I probably won't blog about it either, you never know who is reading ;)
I googled quilts for baby girls and got a link to The Moda Bake Shop Blog And fell in love with this quilt. However instead of using the Moda Coin Stack - I just used other fabrics that I liked from Spotlight, mainly because I didn't want to spend an arm and a leg on fabric when I can barely sew in a straight line anymore!
Anyway I've been sewing off and on for the last 6 weeks and am just about to do the finishing touches (the binding and 'quilting') This is what it's looking like at the moment.
Now I've got the sewing bug I've decided to make a quilt for Master C. I've found a pattern that I like and the fabrics I like so now I just need to make it all happen!
Other exciting things in my life at the moment are Master C sleeping through for the first time on Saturday night and for the second time last night (Sunday). We've been trying to communicate, settle, re-settle and use a waking 'routine' from Sheyne Rowley's Dream Baby Guide and we (I) stopped breastfeeding over night and it's worked a treat. It's not strict or hash like SOS is, but focuses more on using communication, food and daily play time to solve sleep problems than cry it out methods. I don't expect that he will do it every night but once every now and then would be great!
We have no been trying to concieve our second child since March. I was really hopeful it would happen first and second go but it didn't. I know that 3 months, 6 months or even 9 months isn't that long in the scheme of things but I was just hoping to be one of those people that could just fall pregnant at the drop of a hat. This time we won't be telling anyone that we are trying for our second baby or telling anyone until the 12 week mark - due to the lack of excitement we received first time round. So if/when it happens, I probably won't blog about it either, you never know who is reading ;)
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