I do, I do, I do, I do, I do....

I want to be pregnant again. I thought I didnt want to, but I do! I don't want to TTC again but I guess, there is no way around that, Although I'm wishing for the immaculate conception that Mary got (lucky girl!).

I want it more than ever now. I was luke warm about the whole idea last week and was feeling a bit selfish and just wanting to go to the gym, I think I was being a bit bitter and twisted and trying to make my body pay (like it cares!). But now I've realised it, I have this huge urge to get pregnant RIGHT NOW.

My GP said not to have sex or put anything into my va-jay-jay until my next cycle, but for once, I'm thinking I want to go with my instincts and not listen to doctors. Now to get Mr. Woggie to agree. That could be tricky, he likes doing things by the book....Goodie two shoes!!

Lost and Found...

The story goes like this.....

Once upon a Wednesday (to be precise the 27th of August 2008) Mrs. Woggie had a really bad day, so Mr. Woggie who was on night shift that night decided to take the day of and stay with his very sad wife. Mrs Woggies Mum (we call her Granny) got worried about her daughter and decided to baby sit her on Thursday the 28th of August when Mr. Woggie had gone to work.

The afternoon started as a lovely one! Mrs Woggie and Granny went shoe shopping, for an upcoming ball that Mr and Mrs Woggie are going to next weekend. Before they hit the shops, they enjoyed eating a wonderful Indian feast, it was delicious!!

Once they had filled themselves with engergy they went shopping, they thought it could take some time because Mrs. Woggie has terrible feet, Mrs. Woggie has Bunions, which are what an older lady should have not a 26 year old. So they went shopping and the first store was Mathers, Mrs Woggie saw a nice pair of shoes, tried them on and, ALAS! They were the perfect fit!! So she bought them.

After this, shoe shopping miracle Mrs. Woggie decided that she needed some new gym gear and a new sports bra! Once again, success!

Then it was time to go home. Mrs Woggie and Granny went their separate ways. Mrs Woggie had just setteled down at her laptop to catch up on the days events, when the phone rang. It was Granny to say that Tuppy (her dog) had once again escaped but this time her collar had broken off in the escape so no one would be able to identify her. Panic set in and Granny asked Mrs Woggie to come around and search (it was 9pm) so she got back in the car this time with Ozzie (her dog) in tow and drove to Granny's house.

20 minutes later, Mrs. Woggie arrived at Granny's house, Granny was on the phone to the pound. The pound had a dog matching Tuppy's description. "Female, Tan Silky Terrier" she is an Australian Terrier but often gets mistaken for a Silky. The pound lady asked us to go online and identify the dog. However, Granny, for the first time ever left her laptop at work and was unable to get online. SO her generous daughter Mrs. Woggie decided to drive Granny back to her house to use the internet there.

20 minutes later, we are on the pound website and searching through the photograps........

This is what we see.....

Tuppy's Mug Shot.......



And she is smiling! Altoghther now "AWWWWWWWWWW"

The following morning Mr and Mrs Woggie go to pick Tuppy up at the pound for Granny. Mr Woggie suggests that they tie her to the bumper bar and let her run home!!! Of course he is joking....or is he!!!

So the Woggies, Granny and Tuppy all lived happily ever after (until next time the little bitch runs away at least!!)

It's a Wednesday.

And I don't like Wednesdays. It makes me remember how many weeks pregnant I should be. I was feeling great yesterday, I was on top of the world. But today I've woken up and I feel like jumping, screaming and having a giant tantrum. I've already had a giant tantrum to Mr. Woggie. I seriously don't know how many more he will take.

It all seems too hard. I don't want to forget and I don't want to move on, but I feel like I should push myself to do it. If I let myself get stuck in this rut, well, I don't think I'll ever get out. I need to do something to remember Baby Woggie by and then look forward. I'm just at a loss at what to do. My thoughts so far are;

- Get a tattoo, I've draw the design I like, but Mr. Woggie is very very against this idea and I can see his point, it is permanent. I'm feeling like I feel now, but I might not always feel this way.

- Plant a tree - good idea, but what if it dies? I'll feel worse then, or if we move, because one day we will, our Baby Woggie Tree would have to stay here.

- Get an angel for my necklace, I think this idea is coming up trumps so far. I can wear it when I feel like I need to and I can take it off when I feel ready to, but always keep it somewhere safe.

Does anyone have any other suggestions. I need to do something, I just don't know what.

I got flowers!

From a beautiful friend!! Who knows that tulips are my new favourite flower!! Thank you. It was a wonderful surprise getting a delivery on a Sunday. I needed that. Mr Woggie, was out helping a friend move and I was watching reruns of the Olympics, feeling a bit sad and sorry for myself. There is nothing sweeter than the sound of a barking dog to let you know a stranger is coming up the front stairs with a delivery!!


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Now, onto more serious and not such happy news. We are taking a short TTC break. Not because we have to, well there is that, but also because we just want to be happy again. So I won't be around much until we start TTC again.

And so it hit me.....

I'd been doing remarkably well coping with the loss of Baby Woggie. Probably too well. I had cried once or twice, but on the whole I felt numb. I think that I was so wrapped up in the heavy bleeding and feeling dizzy that my mind was taken off the loss of Baby Woggie. But last night at about 11.30pm I was watching a repeat of the mens weightlifting final of the German man who won. When he collected his medal, he took a photo of his wife who had passed away 3 years ago with him and kissed it as he received his medal. And that my friends, was enough for me to lose it. I was sobbing and my heart was breaking. I must had been pretty loud because Mr. Woggie who was in bed came out to the lounge to comfort me. Today, I've just been feeling down and depressed, I keep thinking how far along I should be and how far along I'm not.

This brings me to my third song in the series of songs that speaks to me. It's is "The Voice Within" by Christina Aguilera. It has helped me through a lot of these kinds of moments and I expect that it will speak to me again and will help me find my inner strength.

The Voice Within.

The lady with the empty uterus.

That is me.

I got my ultrasound images from the scan from hell today. I don't know why they bothered giving me pictures of my very sad and pathetic looking empty uterus. What do I do with those? Maybe I should send them onto my FS, I'm actually tempted to put them through the shredder and then burn them.

All the way to the ultrasound on Monday, I thought we would see something. I didn't expect a heart beat, but I though there would at least be a sack. Not seeing the sack makes me fell like I was never pregnant, like it was all a big fat giant story I had concocted, like I had been seeing lines on pee tests every day for a week (Yes I was doing them everyday) that were not really there. But I remind myself, Mr. Woggie saw them too. You all saw them, I showed you. It must have been real. It just was not real for very long.

It was actually reveled that I have a 'Y' shaped uterus, which apparently means I could have trouble keeping a pregnancy, which is fantastic, I wanted more odds stacked up against me.

The doctor doesn't want us "having intercourse" until after my next period. I'm sorry lady BUT I've not "had intercourse" since I ovulated on the 24th of July. And I must say it was actually more like a business transaction that having enjoyable "intercourse" with my husband, and you are telling me you want me to wait for another 4 weeks, or until my body sorts itself out "You're dreamin" I'm pretty sure that is grounds for divorce isn't it?

...........................................................................................................................................................................
Song Number 2 - That "speaks to me" right now.

Time To Say Good-bye - Sarah Brightman and Andrea Bocelli.

Quando sono sola sogno all'orizzonte e mancan le parole, si lo so che non c'è luce in una stanza quando manca il sole, se non ci sei tu con me, con me. Su le finestre mostra a tutti il mio cuore che hai accesso, chiudi dentro me la luce che hai incontrato per strada. Time to say goodbye. Paesi che non ho mai veduto e vissuto con te, adesso sì li vivrò. Con te partirò su navi per mari che, io lo so, no, no, non esistono più, it's time to say goodbye. Andrea: Quando sei lontana sogno all'orizzonte e mancan le parole, e io si lo so che sei con me con me, tu mia luna tu sei qui con me, mio sole tu sei qui, con me, con me, con me, con me. Time to say goodbye. Paesi che non ho mai veduto e vissuto con te, adesso sì li vivrò. Con te partirò su navi per mari che, io lo so, no, no, non esistono più, Both: con te io li rivivrò. Con te partirò su navi per mari che, io lo so, no, no, non esistono più, con te io li rivivrò. Con te partirò. Io con te.

When I'm alone I dream of the horizon and words fail; yes, I know there is no light in a room where the sun is absent, if you are not here with me. At the windows show everyone my heart which you set alight; enclose within me the light you encountered on the street. Time to say goodbye. to countries I never saw and shared with you, now, yes, I shall experience them. I'll go with you on ships across seas which, I know, no, no, exist no longer; it's time to say goodbye. When you are far away I dream of the horizon and words fail, and, yes, I know that you are with me; you, my moon, are here with me, my sun, you are here with me with me, with me, with me. Time to say goodbye. to countries I never saw and shared with you, now, yes, I shall experience them. I'll go with you on ships across seas which, I know, no, no, exist no longer, with you I shall experience them again. I'll go with you on ships across seas which, I know, no, no, exist no longer, with you I shall experience them again. I'll go with you. You and me

It's a bit of a sad one. But I did say good bye to Baby Woggie the other night, I told him/her, that is was ok for him/her to leave us. I told Baby Woggie that I love him/her but it was fine to go.

And now for the song.

A song that speaks to me....

There are a few right now. And I might dedicate the next little bit to telling you why these song "speak to me"

Firstly - Little Wonders by Rob Thomas.

It reminds me that no matter what, I won't forget my baby, ever. It was alive inside me. It was a part of me, it was a part of Mr. Woggie. I've been reading and lots and people seem to like to move on from their lost babies. And that is fine, everyone needs to deal with it in their own way. But my way is to remember for 8 days, I was the happiest I had ever been in my life. I actually said to Mr. Woggie I felt bad that we didn't share the news with the world while I was pregnant so they could see just how much this little one meant to us, how much this little one was loved and wanted by us. That is something I might do differently next time.

This song also reminds me that through all of it the number one person in my life has been Mr. Woggie. I know I've been viewed as selfish and mean for not sharing my news, but it is just that "my news" we needed to come to terms with it our self first and secondly I dealt with the loss in a way that I wanted to. It is not about anyone else, the way I am grieving, it is about me and Mr. Woggie.

Anway I'm getting off track. Little Wonders, reminds me that time will pass and I will be ok, but it is still ok for me to remember Baby Woggie. And that through it all. Mr. Woggie is my number one fan and no matter what, no matter how many times we have faltered through this infertility journey we will be ok.

So the lyrics for you. Followed by the You Tube Clip.

more Rob Thomas lyrics

Little Wonder Lyrics

Let it go, let it roll right off your shoulder,
Don't you know, the hardest part is over, let it in,
Let your clarity define you in the end,
You will only just remember how it feels.

Our lives are made, in these small hours, these little wonders
These twisted turns of fate, time falls away,
But these small hours, these small hours, still remain.

Let it slide, let your troubles fall behind you, let it shine,
Till you feel it all around you,
And I don't mind, if it's me you need to turn to, we'll get by,
It's the heart that really matters in the end.

Our lives are made, in these small hours, these little wonders
These twisted turns of fate, time falls away,
But these small hours, these small hours, still remain.
All of my regret, will wash away somehow,
But I cannot forget the way I feel right now.
In these small hours, these little wonders, these twisted turns of fate,
All these twisted turns of fate, these twisted turns of fate
Yeah, times falls away
But these small hours, these small hours, still remain.
They still remain, these little wonders, all these twisted turns of fate
time falls away, but these small hours, these little wonders
Still remain.

Thanks to (V) for correcting these lyrics. Dec 22, 2007full lyrics

more lyrics

I'm back

In the land of open permissions.

It was selfish of me to hide away. I promise I wont do it again. IF there is a next time. I will tell you all, loud and proud. And if undesirable people read, so be it. If people who know me IRL and read it and don't let me know then that is up to them. But they can't be upset at me if I post my news here and don't tell them IRL if I'm not ready to tell yet.

Mamasoon - It was because of you I opened up again. Thank you for sending me hugs through Endo Baby. It meant a lot. More than you can know.

Endo Baby - Thank you for telling your readers about me. I hope that my pregnancy (albeit, unsuccessful) does give hope to other Endo sufferes out there. Girls we can get pregnant.

We've decided that we are going to cancel our appointment with Dr. Julie in October, we will probably reschedule it for January next year. We need time to heal and time to enjoy each other again. The last two months we put too much pressure on each other so now it is time for us.

Thank you again for your support. Love to you all xxx

What now?

Someone please tell me. Part of me wants to jump into TTC right away, I'm feeling like we can do this and do it right this time.

The other part is feeling down and crap and scared shitless that this will happen ALL over again. That part of me never wants to TTC ever ever again. I know many people have had miscarriages and then gone on to have healthy pregnancies but after 16 months of TTC, it just seems all too hard. The 16 months seems to compound it even more, makes it even more of a struggle for me to deal with. I can't do this for another 16 months. I didn't even want to do it one more month and I was happy for Baby Woggie to be an only child. BUT NO. The universe ONCE again decided that I'm not deserving of good things to happen just yet. Story of my freaking life and I'm over it.

Anyway, I'm going to go and try to do something constructive.

Thank you for all of your kind words and thoughts, it does mean the world to me. I seem like a grumpy of bitch right now, that is probably because I am. Bitter and Twisted would sum me up perfectly. BUT I do love the support you have all given me. And please don't let me scare you away!

Happy 50th post to me.

Not that there is much to celebrate.

It is official we have lost Baby Woggie.

The day went a little like this.

No spotting or cramping feeling very hopeful and happy.

Doctors appointment 12.15, sit in waiting room until 1pm.

Doctor assures us that spotting and minor cramps are all normal.

Have an internal, cervix is closed, this is good news.

Go and have a scan at 2.30, they guy can't see anything in my uterus, gives me the option of an internal, I think he was hoping I would decline, he was very young, too young to be giving internal ultra sounds to barren women who know that no sack at 5w5d is very very bad. He tries to be hopeful and kind saying it could be too early, I know better.

Go home and sleep for one and a half hours. Wake up be in immence pain have lots and lots and lots of red blood.

5.00pm Ring doctor to confirm what we already know, a complete miscarriage. Doctor does not yet have scan results.

5.50pm Doctor calls back to tell me the results and tries to give me hope, that it could be ok. Until I tell her about the bleeding. She confirms, complete miscarriage.

6.00pm - Cry, wail, bawl, see Mr. Woggie cry for the first time ever. Heart breaks.

We don't know if the baby is going to make it....

I started spotting and cramping yesterday, some red blood and clots were involved. This morning there was red again, a pregnant womans worst nightmare, I've discovered. Now it is just cramps and brown tinged CM.

The last 24 hours have been the emotional roller coaster from hell. I don't know what to do, how to act, or what to think. I'm shit scared.

Anyway I'll keep you updated.

xoxox

I am stressing...

I can't help it. I'm so so so worried something is going to go wrong. I just need reassurance that everything is ok and I don't have that. I've got no symptoms, not a single one and this worries me, more than you can imagine. I'm making myself feel ill thinking about it. On my blood test referral yesterday there was no request for HCG and that makes me worry because I wanted some HCG levels just to know that Baby Woggie is doing ok.

I booked my scan this morning for the 3rd of October so I'll be 12w2d when we get to see Baby Woggie, that is ages away, in fact it is 49 sleeps away (not that I am counting)! AND that seems like forever!!

Tell me I'm normal. Well I know I'm not normal but tell me feeling NOTHING not even a single thing is normal. I thought I was supposed to get really sore (.)(.) everyone says they do, how come I don't? That is not fair.

Sigh. Enough of my hormonal rant.

5w1d

So each week, I am going to do a brief run down of how my pregnancy is progressing. I'm going to include a belly and mug shot once a week. So be prepared, I'm telling you now to warn you all, look away if you don't want to see!!!

This morning I had my doctors appointment, it was pretty standard and run of the mill. She confirmed my due date of 15th of April. Which is very exciting!!! She sent me for routine blood tests told me what to eat and what not to eat, printed out my referral for my 12 week scan which is AAAAAAGGGGGEEEESSSSSSSSSS away. How can I wait for that long? Looks like I'll just have to keep doing pee sticks to convince myself. And then sent us on our merry little way.

When I got home, I got a beautiful gift from a very very very special friend. I won't name names but you know who you are. Mr Woggie and I appriciate it more than you can imagine.

In my lovely little package was a 2 pack of reversable bibs, a fantastic toy to hang onto the our pram, and then some treats for mum! Some ginger bears YUM YUM and some divine mango body shop body butter.

My Preggie Symptoms:
I don't have many right now, which of course plays on my mind, in all honesty, I feel no different, which really is surprising to me!

The most notable symptoms are;
- Tiredness
-LOTS of CM
- No period (derrr)
-Dry retching every now and then.
- I already have a preggie belly (Although I have a suspicion it could be the extra 7kgs I put on in Europe!!!)

Anyway I'm off to the gym now, gotta get fit if I've got any hope of pushing a tiny creature out of my vajayjay!

Let's go back a few days.

First of all, I apologise to all of those who I left hanging in the dark, It probably seemed like I took off, I did, but unintentionally Mr. Woggie and I had a HUGE weekend.

On saturday morning my temp dipped to 36.5, I had no symptoms of any kind because my whole body was aching from working out at the gym (I really love it there!). After I took my temp, we got up and packed a lunch and set off to go to the Ekka. For those of you who have no idea what "The Ekka" is, it is a giant exhibition and carnival all rolled into one. With farmers stands and animal farms and show jumping, and wood chopping events, fairy floss, rides, show bags and my favourite, FIREWORKS!!

After the Ekka finished which was around 9pm, we went to my friends house to celebrate her birthday, we stayed there until about 11.45pm and then went home.

On Sunday I told Mr. Woggie I would to a HPT if my temperature went up, of course I expected it to go down after Saturday's little dip. The good thing was, I had not thought about HPTs or temps at all on Saturday we had such a fun time!

So the alarm went of at 5.45am as usual, I groaned and rolled over and fumbled around my bedside table feeling for my thermometer, shoved it in my mouth and had a micro sleep until it beeped 3 times. I thought I'd better look at it, just so I could get back to sleep and not be wondering all morning what the temp said. So I looked at it and it said 36.9. Yes that is right, 36.9. So you would think, I would be jumping up and testing right away. But I didn't because I knew it was just my body playing mean tricks on me. So I rolled over and went back to sleep and had a dream that I got my period. At 8.40 am, 3 hours after I had done my temp I decided I would test. So I walked out to the lounge where I knew my confirm brand tests were on the coffee table (I have had these tests for about 9 months!) I went and did half a wee, which is REALLY hard to do when you are busting. And then I peed on the stick.

I looked at it and it looked like nothing was happening so I went and washed my hands and then looked at it again, only to see what looked like 2 lines, not one. So I got back into bed and gently threw the pee stick at Mr. Woggie and said, I think there are two lines on that think. He looked at said, read me the instructions it's not a very dark second line, so I read the bit about "a line is a line and you can assume you are pregnant if it is just a faint line, blah, blah, blah" and by the time I had read that sentence the line was a nice big fat juicy second line. And Mr. Woggie said "Oh my god" about 1000 times and I just lay there. We snuggled and he looked at me like a Cheshire cat with a big goofy grin. Then I gave him a special little gift that I had been saving for him for a long time, a little baby jump suit that says "Dad Rocks"

Here is some photo evidence of my tests!!!!

So I'm pregnant! Baby Woggie is due 15th of April 2009. That makes me 5w today! I'm going to the doctors tomorrow to have it all confirmed (it is a public holiday here today).

Thank you all for supporting me over the last few months, coming here reading your comments always lifted me, reading your blogs, the pregnancy ones and the infertility blogs made me feel good about something and it gave me something to look forward to day to day. And seriously, I could not have done it without each and everyone of you. Many of you I will never ever meet, but I will never forget any of you.

I hope you enjoy sharing in the new journey Mr Woggie and I are now going to face!

I'm closing up shop!!!!

For a short time anyway!!

I do love you all and the way you have helped me. However, I've all of a sudden become paranoid that there are people reading this who I don't want reading this. SO I'm locking my blog for a little bit.

If you would like to keep reading please email me at....... kirs10peta at hotmail dot com. I'll probably lock it some time on Wednesday.

To anyone who does not care to email me, I have loved knowing that you have been reading and thinking about me and I'll keep visiting you all.

Take care,
Much love,
Mrs Woggie xox

I've lost my period, have you seen it?

It is true! It is gone, and I don't know where. My longest cycle is 31 days and today is day 31 so I guess technically I could find it tomorrow, but I have NO AF like symptoms, normally I have cramps from the endo from 3 days before my period like nothing else and nothing, I've lost my cramps too. I really should be more careful with my possessions.

Ok so I should do my DPO post since I'm still counting the days, so here goes...

Temperature: Shot up, AGAIN to 36.7 strange I know. I can conclude 2 things could have happened to cause this rise.

1. My body is (insert swear word here, preferably the one that starts with an F) and having the lap has really broken me, or PCO is breaking me too, my doctor said it might if I put on weight and I have put on a few kgs since the lap because of the sheer amount of emotional eating that I have done since then.

2. Someone evil, has broken into my house, made their way into my bedroom, stole my thermometer, taken it to their underground lair used some high tech equipment and TAMPERED yes, tampered with my thermometer, and made it be erratic. Someone who doesn't like me, actually probably someone who hates me. *Cue Jaws music*

So based on all of this scientific evidence that I have collected, I conclude that scenario two is probably the most likely!

Symtoms:
Tender breasts, although I think they are subsiding and have no been replaced by sore pectorials from my Body Pump session at the gym last night.

How I'm feeling:
Nothing really, suprisingly ok, just wishing for that biatch to arrive and make me stop waiting. What happened to the TWW? Who said anything about a TW+2DW?

15DPO

Temerature: My temp this morning went down, down, down to 36.3. Anyone want to predict when AF may show her ugly mug? I'm thinking tomorrow.

Symptoms: Just the usual, sore breasts (at least this will be a reminder to me next cycle that sore breasts are NOT a pregnancy related symptom).

How I'm feeling: I'm honestly fine, I just want our next cycle to begin. I think we only have 2 months and 8 days left till our next FS appointment and every day AF is late means one less day we have to try. So please send me all the AF vibes you have!!

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I'm going to my first class at the gym tonight, I think it is a Body Pump. I should probably read the description that the gym gave me to know what it is I am getting myself in for. I think it is fair to say that if you were a fly on the wall, you would be in fits of hysterics at me bouncing about all over the place. It will not be a pretty sight, but that will change, hopefully quickly!!! I'm determined to look HOT HOT HOT next time I have to get my gear of for the FS!!!

14DPO

Temperature:
36.5 highish, but on the way down.

Symptoms:
I don't think they are symtoms anymore, more like things that are just happening to my body post ovulation and pre AF. However, they are; sore breasts which I'm really starting to be annoyed with AND CM, lots of it, which I think is usual for me at this time in my cycle.

How I'm feeling:
Well I did a HPT it was negative, and I'm disappointed, seeing 1 line is never fun. Seeing two on an OPK is sometimes fun because I do pretend BFP reactions in the mirror, it is kind of like practicing for the Oscar you will never win. I joined up at the gym today, so I'm looking forward to getting into exercising and doing some classes and shifting some of my Europe holiday weight that I put on whist eating my way around Europe!!

I normally have a 28-29 day cycle and today is day 29, however last cycle was a 31 day cycle and I assumed that it was only because of the lap that it had changed, maybe I was wrong, maybe I'm now going to have a longer cycle every time. Either way, I just wish I knew.

13 DPO

Temperature:
35.7 - Yes, I know, high, very high. I've got no idea why. I'm not feeling sick, I wasn't feeling hot. I know it means nothing apart from the fact that I have very erratic temperatures, makes me wonder how long this cycle will be though. Maybe I need a new BBT thermometer.

Symptoms:
STILL the sorest breasts, it is getting quite inconvenient to be honest!

How I'm feeling:
Ready for the next cycle, for round 17. Third cycle after the lap lucky, I'm hoping! Confused about my temperature, but not at all hopeful or expecting anything to come of it. There is no point really, my body has proven that it does strange things for NO apparent reason.

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I know you are probably getting sick of reading my boring DPO entries, I promise after tomorrow, I'll write something interesting (well no guarantee's there :P ) but more interesting that what my stupid temp is doing!! I've got 2 topics in mind that I would like to share with you all. So watch this space. And thank you for coming back time after time to read my boring dribble.

12DPO

Temperature:
Same miserable low temp as yesterday 36.2

Symptoms:
None really, still sore breasts, but that is about it.

How I'm feeling:
Remarkably better than yesterday, Mr. Woggie is home and we had a cry and cuddle about it together. I'm hoping AF is here by Wednesday so I can have my regular 29 day cycle.

11 DPO

Temperature:
Down again, my temps are up and down like a yo yo! Went down .4 this morning to 36.2. So looks like I'm out for the month.

Symptoms: Well I have no pregnancy symptoms but I certainly have plenty of AF ones.

How I'm feeling:
Terrible, depressed, about to give up.

Thank you for everyone that sent the messages of support and hope. I hope that I can come through for you next week.

10 DPO

Temperature: Shot up 0.6 to 36.6 this morning! To say I was in shock would be an understatement. It is so hard not to get excited when that happens but I'm trying my best.

Symptoms:
Tender breasts, cramping. So nothing to write home about and nothing that is all that unusual for this time of my cycle.

How I'm feeling:
Scared shiteless!!

9DPO - Count me out.

Again. My temp has stayed low this morning, very low, still below my coverline. I'm devastated. That's it, that's the only way I can sum it up. Devastated.