I had always planned to breastfeed. I had it in my head that because I had 2 miscarriages and it took almost 2 years for us to have a successful pregnancy so I thought it was my 'right' to be able to breastfeed easily. It didn't occur to me that it would be difficult for me. i had attended an ABA day course and read ""Breastfeeding Naturally" from cover to cover before I went to hospital.
Things went pretty much pear shape from the very start. Charlie had no interest in attaching in the birth suite and only did so because we 'forced' him.
I had NO idea what I was doing - how long I should feed for or anything like that. By day 2 I already had bruised nipples. By that night Charlie was screaming and screaming the MW suggested hand expressing colostrum she helped me but nothing came out. She suggested giving him 20mls of formula but I refused.
By day 3 my nipples were grazed and bleeding, Dean bought me some cream for my nipples and I applied that furiously. We got discharged from hospital that night. I continued feeding on demand but was in a great deal of pain but was determined to breastfeed.
By 8pm on day 4 (we had only been home 24 hours) we had realised Charlie had not urinated since his first nappy change that morning. We rang 13 HEALTH and they told us to take him straight to the hospital. When we got there he had to have 3 blood tests. They asked me to feed him where I was told my attachment was crap. They also insisted we gave him some forumla as at that point the suspected he was dehydrated, the MW in the children's emergency ward showed us how to feed him with a bottle I cried the whole time. Charlie's test results came back as him possibly having a kidney problem, being dehydrated and having too much salt because he had not had enough to eat. He had also dropped to under 3.5kgs (He was born at 4.2). They wanted to keep him in on a drip however they were worried that he may catch an infection being so young so they sent us home with bottles of formula and we were told to feed for 15 minutes on each side and then give him 50mls of formula. They also requested us to come back the next day.
By day 5 my nipples were so damaged I couldn't feed from my left one. That day we went to the supermarket to get a breast pump some formula and some bottles. I felt embarrassed and ashamed buying them so made Dean go through the checkout while I waited outside. We took Charlie back to the hospital that night and he had gained 300 grams in 24 hours. I felt like the worst mother in the world - I had been starving my baby. Once again they got the MW in emergency to help me to breastfeed while they were running the repeat tests on Charlie. After a feed they got me to express and only colostrum came out. My milk still had not come in.
On day 6 my MCHN came to visit and told me she had never seen such badly damaged nipples - she told me to stop feeding and express and do the formula top ups. He was on more formula than breastmilk.
On day 7 I visited the drop in lactation consultant center. They showed me all of the different positions and holds and suggested that I got some fenugreek to help with my supply. I got the fenugreek and started drinking it furiously. By day 10 I was still expressing full time but developed a case of mastitis because I couldn't drain my breast properly.
I had to cancel my appointment at the day stay feeding clinic due to the mastits. Dean went back to work that day and I had to start trying to breastfeed so I started feeding every second feed and topping up with formula. By the following Firday my nipples were back to the damaged state the had been in so I was back to full time expressing and FF feeding. I got an appointment at the feeding clinic. Getting mastitis once again killed my supply so I went back to the GP to get some motillium and was told if I was feeding him by 6 weeks she would be amazed.
At the clinic they told me there was nothing they could do - Charlie's attachment was perfect and he was just one of those babies that damaged nipples. I left feeling so disheartened that we were doing everything right but it still didnt work. I vowed to quit Breastfeeding then and there but Dean kept pushing me and pushing me (I hated him for it so much)
Once I decided that I was going to persist with it I set myself a goal to be only doing bottle feds by the 1st of October then to be totally feeding him breastmilk by the 1st of November then to be 100% breastfeeding by the 1st of December. It took us a while to get there but we did it. There were many tears and tantrums from both of us but I'm glad I stuck it out, I love feeding him now.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Charlie Michael's Birth Story
The birth of Charlie Michael
On Sunday the 23rd of August Dean and I woke up at 5.30am to go to the hospital to be induced. I had a shower and then called the hospital to check that I could still come in. I was incredibly disappointed when they told me that birth suite was full and my induction had to be postponed. I called back at 12.00 – the longest 6 hour wait of my life and was told to come in.
When we got there I was admitted and we went to sit in the waiting room for a midwife to come and get us. While we were in there we FINALLY decided if we had a son his name would be Charlie – I told Dean that he could chose the middle name and I really had no ideas! So he decided that Michael would be the baby’s middle name (Dean had wanted to call the baby Michael since forever!)
At 1.30 we got collected by a midwife and went into a examination room in birth suite where I was put on the CTG machine to monitor the baby. At 14.30 the cervidil tape was inserted and I was told I was still 1cm dilated. I got monitored on the CTG for another hour and then I got taken to my bed in the maternity ward. We were told we would be taken back to birth suite at 8.30 the next morning if nothing had happened.
At 5pm on Monday the 24th of August the midwife came and told me that I could remove the cervidil myself as there was no room in birth suite. So I removed the lovely device that did nothing and sat and waited.
At 8.45pm Dean was about to go home when the midwife came in and asked if I’d like to go down to birth suite. So I jumped out of bed and collected all of the things I wanted to use during labour.
When we got down to birth suite I was put on the CTG machine again. While I was being monitored I started having minor contractions. After the CTG I had a vaginal examination and was told I was 2cm dilated. The midwife gave us 2 options to have my waters broken and the synto drip started or to have the prostin gel and sleeping tablets and come back to be induced the following morning. As I had been awake since 5am that morning we opted to have the gel and for me to get some rest. At 10.25pm I had the gel inserted and had a tori contraction which is a long continuous contraction that doesn’t end. After being monitored on the CTG yet again I was taken back to the ward at midnight, given some sleeping tablets and told to rest as tomorrow I would be meeting my baby. I didn’t sleep to badly that night but woke up every so often with minor contractions. I stoped feeling contractions around 4am.
At 8.40am on Wednesday the 25th of August I was taken back to birth suite, where I had an internal and was told I was now 3cm dilated – woohoo only 7cm to go!! At 9.20am the Ob came in to break my waters and hook the baby’s head up to the CTG machine for continual monitoring during labour – this is where things started to divert from my birth plan. I had wanted to spend much of my labour in the water and was now unable to. At 10.35am the synto drip was started and I was told that contractions would start within 1-2 hours later. About 15 mintues after the drip was started I had my first contraction which was manageable with some breathing. At 11.18 I had my first ‘hardcore’ (in Dean’s words) contraction which I got through by rocking squeezing on my stress ball. At that point contractions started coming pretty hard and fast but I was managing them quite well by resting between them and standing and rocking during them.
At about 11.45 I was still having strong contractions but also developed abdominal pain that was worse than the contractions that didn’t go away. I was getting quite distressed as nothing I did would ease the pain. At 12.00 the midwife suggested I use some gas to for the abdominal pain – it helped for the contractions but not for the abdominal pain. At this point I turned into one of those crazy women in labour I was not coping with the abdominal pain – they couldn’t identify what it was so they called in the Ob who thought it just could be the sheer weight on my pelvis as the baby hnd fully engaged – at this point they did another examination and discovered that the baby had turned. The Ob suggested an epidural because by this point I was beside myself screaming and wailing in pain and also because the baby had turned and was now going to be even harder to push out – I believe I used the F bomb towards a few of the midwives and the Ob as they suggested I keep using the gas and I told them the gas wasn’t doing a fucking thing!
The anthesisist came in and gave me the spiel about the risks of the epi and once again I swore at him and told him I didn’t give a shit just to hurry up and give it to me. After the epi was administered at 1.50pm – or maybe before I can’t remember I fell asleep! I was told I was 5cm dilated. The Ob predicted I would be fully dilated by about 7pm and should have my baby by 9pm.
During my abdominal pain ordeal they had turned the synto drip off – however since having the epidural I hadn’t had a contraction so they turned it back on the lowest setting to try and avoid what had happened before. The epidural was low enough that I could feel each contraction which I liked as it gave me something to focus on.
At 5.45 I had to have another internal Fiona my midwife said she thought I would be about 7 or 8cm dilated. She was very surprised when she touched the top of the baby’s head as soon as she put her fingers in!!! She told me that I was ready to push with the next contraction and that I would be meeting my baby very very soon. At this point I started crying, I was so excited that the moment I had waited so long for was about to happen.
10 minutes later I started pushing and they could see the baby’s head – I asked Fiona if the baby had hair and Dean told me not to ruin the surprise! But during the next push he went and had a look – I protested that he knew so they got me a mirror so I could see during my next push. When I saw the full head of dark brown hair – I started crying again!
Dean asked how long would it take for the baby to be born at I said probably a few hours as that’s what I’ve read but Fiona said the baby wasn’t going to wait a few hours to meet us! Tears from me once again!!
At some point during my pushing Fiona made a call to someone and all of a sudden 5 doctors came into the room. Later I found out Charlie had gone into distress – they were preparing for an eptosomy when one doctor said there wasn’t enough time and I had to push the baby out in the very next push. So with the next contraction I did about 5 pushes and at 6.42pm our angel Charlie Michael entered the world. He was placed on my chest and I asked Dean what it was Dean lifted his legs and said “it’s a boy” but then he said to the midwife “is that right?” By now we were both in tears, all of our dreams had finally come true.
At 8.20pm Charlie had his first breastfeed – which is one of the most amazing moments of my life.
Although the labour was not how I had imagine giving birth and everything I didn’t want to happen happened I wouldn’t change it for anything – our little boy is happy and healthy and the light of our lives.
On Sunday the 23rd of August Dean and I woke up at 5.30am to go to the hospital to be induced. I had a shower and then called the hospital to check that I could still come in. I was incredibly disappointed when they told me that birth suite was full and my induction had to be postponed. I called back at 12.00 – the longest 6 hour wait of my life and was told to come in.
When we got there I was admitted and we went to sit in the waiting room for a midwife to come and get us. While we were in there we FINALLY decided if we had a son his name would be Charlie – I told Dean that he could chose the middle name and I really had no ideas! So he decided that Michael would be the baby’s middle name (Dean had wanted to call the baby Michael since forever!)
At 1.30 we got collected by a midwife and went into a examination room in birth suite where I was put on the CTG machine to monitor the baby. At 14.30 the cervidil tape was inserted and I was told I was still 1cm dilated. I got monitored on the CTG for another hour and then I got taken to my bed in the maternity ward. We were told we would be taken back to birth suite at 8.30 the next morning if nothing had happened.
At 5pm on Monday the 24th of August the midwife came and told me that I could remove the cervidil myself as there was no room in birth suite. So I removed the lovely device that did nothing and sat and waited.
At 8.45pm Dean was about to go home when the midwife came in and asked if I’d like to go down to birth suite. So I jumped out of bed and collected all of the things I wanted to use during labour.
When we got down to birth suite I was put on the CTG machine again. While I was being monitored I started having minor contractions. After the CTG I had a vaginal examination and was told I was 2cm dilated. The midwife gave us 2 options to have my waters broken and the synto drip started or to have the prostin gel and sleeping tablets and come back to be induced the following morning. As I had been awake since 5am that morning we opted to have the gel and for me to get some rest. At 10.25pm I had the gel inserted and had a tori contraction which is a long continuous contraction that doesn’t end. After being monitored on the CTG yet again I was taken back to the ward at midnight, given some sleeping tablets and told to rest as tomorrow I would be meeting my baby. I didn’t sleep to badly that night but woke up every so often with minor contractions. I stoped feeling contractions around 4am.
At 8.40am on Wednesday the 25th of August I was taken back to birth suite, where I had an internal and was told I was now 3cm dilated – woohoo only 7cm to go!! At 9.20am the Ob came in to break my waters and hook the baby’s head up to the CTG machine for continual monitoring during labour – this is where things started to divert from my birth plan. I had wanted to spend much of my labour in the water and was now unable to. At 10.35am the synto drip was started and I was told that contractions would start within 1-2 hours later. About 15 mintues after the drip was started I had my first contraction which was manageable with some breathing. At 11.18 I had my first ‘hardcore’ (in Dean’s words) contraction which I got through by rocking squeezing on my stress ball. At that point contractions started coming pretty hard and fast but I was managing them quite well by resting between them and standing and rocking during them.
At about 11.45 I was still having strong contractions but also developed abdominal pain that was worse than the contractions that didn’t go away. I was getting quite distressed as nothing I did would ease the pain. At 12.00 the midwife suggested I use some gas to for the abdominal pain – it helped for the contractions but not for the abdominal pain. At this point I turned into one of those crazy women in labour I was not coping with the abdominal pain – they couldn’t identify what it was so they called in the Ob who thought it just could be the sheer weight on my pelvis as the baby hnd fully engaged – at this point they did another examination and discovered that the baby had turned. The Ob suggested an epidural because by this point I was beside myself screaming and wailing in pain and also because the baby had turned and was now going to be even harder to push out – I believe I used the F bomb towards a few of the midwives and the Ob as they suggested I keep using the gas and I told them the gas wasn’t doing a fucking thing!
The anthesisist came in and gave me the spiel about the risks of the epi and once again I swore at him and told him I didn’t give a shit just to hurry up and give it to me. After the epi was administered at 1.50pm – or maybe before I can’t remember I fell asleep! I was told I was 5cm dilated. The Ob predicted I would be fully dilated by about 7pm and should have my baby by 9pm.
During my abdominal pain ordeal they had turned the synto drip off – however since having the epidural I hadn’t had a contraction so they turned it back on the lowest setting to try and avoid what had happened before. The epidural was low enough that I could feel each contraction which I liked as it gave me something to focus on.
At 5.45 I had to have another internal Fiona my midwife said she thought I would be about 7 or 8cm dilated. She was very surprised when she touched the top of the baby’s head as soon as she put her fingers in!!! She told me that I was ready to push with the next contraction and that I would be meeting my baby very very soon. At this point I started crying, I was so excited that the moment I had waited so long for was about to happen.
10 minutes later I started pushing and they could see the baby’s head – I asked Fiona if the baby had hair and Dean told me not to ruin the surprise! But during the next push he went and had a look – I protested that he knew so they got me a mirror so I could see during my next push. When I saw the full head of dark brown hair – I started crying again!
Dean asked how long would it take for the baby to be born at I said probably a few hours as that’s what I’ve read but Fiona said the baby wasn’t going to wait a few hours to meet us! Tears from me once again!!
At some point during my pushing Fiona made a call to someone and all of a sudden 5 doctors came into the room. Later I found out Charlie had gone into distress – they were preparing for an eptosomy when one doctor said there wasn’t enough time and I had to push the baby out in the very next push. So with the next contraction I did about 5 pushes and at 6.42pm our angel Charlie Michael entered the world. He was placed on my chest and I asked Dean what it was Dean lifted his legs and said “it’s a boy” but then he said to the midwife “is that right?” By now we were both in tears, all of our dreams had finally come true.
At 8.20pm Charlie had his first breastfeed – which is one of the most amazing moments of my life.
Although the labour was not how I had imagine giving birth and everything I didn’t want to happen happened I wouldn’t change it for anything – our little boy is happy and healthy and the light of our lives.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Bundle of joy
Dear Charlie,
You are almost 4 months old now. I look at you everyday and can't fathom just how lucky we are to have you. It's amazing how much you have grown in less than 4 months. You are our bundle of joy. I could watch you all day long. Today I heard you laugh for the very first time, your giggle is infections. I was lifting you up using you as a weight and you thought it was just hilarious, despite it hurting my arms I had to keep on doing it just to hear you laugh some more!
In the last week or so you have discovered you can grab things and put them in your mouth - you do this to everything. Sometimes it's your own hand!
When I was a little girl my favourite book was 'Hairy Maclary from Donaldson's Dairy' I used to make your Granny read it to me over and over again. Before you were born Granny bought you a "Hairy Maclary" of your very own. Daddy hates it, but the other day I decided it was time for you to meet him, of course Daddy had to be sensible and vacuum all of the excess fur of him first. Here are some pictures of you meeting Hairy for the very first time.
I think you are going to be good friends.
You are almost 4 months old now. I look at you everyday and can't fathom just how lucky we are to have you. It's amazing how much you have grown in less than 4 months. You are our bundle of joy. I could watch you all day long. Today I heard you laugh for the very first time, your giggle is infections. I was lifting you up using you as a weight and you thought it was just hilarious, despite it hurting my arms I had to keep on doing it just to hear you laugh some more!
In the last week or so you have discovered you can grab things and put them in your mouth - you do this to everything. Sometimes it's your own hand!
When I was a little girl my favourite book was 'Hairy Maclary from Donaldson's Dairy' I used to make your Granny read it to me over and over again. Before you were born Granny bought you a "Hairy Maclary" of your very own. Daddy hates it, but the other day I decided it was time for you to meet him, of course Daddy had to be sensible and vacuum all of the excess fur of him first. Here are some pictures of you meeting Hairy for the very first time.
I think you are going to be good friends.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Sending out an SOS
I was. But I'm doing ok now. Largely due to the fact that I found Save Our Sleep by Tizzie Hall. Prior to this I was going a wwwiiiidddle bit crazy!
It wasn't really my sleep that was suffering more Charlie's. I'm happy to get up to him twice a night to feed - that seems somewhat reasonable for a 13 week old baby I think. But he wasn't sleeping during the day at all. Perhaps for 20 minutes. I'd heard about SOS from friends and various forums but really didn't want to go down the routine track. I'd heard good things about SOS but probably more bad things. Like it involved letting your baby to cry, which I really wasn't keen on doing. I'd tried a few different tactics to make him sleep better but nothing was working and I was going insane because life was a battle between Charlie and I. He would scream and me and me back at him (one of my bad mother moments) I was close to snapping I think. So I bought SOS on Friday in a last ditch effort to Save Our Sanity.
I've been such a hopeless mother that we have had to start on the 4-6 week old routine!
The idea is he wakes up at 7am and I feed him(haha!) and if he wakes up before then I feed him and then put him back to sleep (haha!) he then hangs out with me until 8.15 and he goes back to sleep and then wakes for a feed at 10.15. Then he plays until 11.45 and then sleeps until 1.30 and feeds. Then we play until 3pm and he has another snooze until 4.45 when he has another feed. At 5.45 he has a bath followed by a feed at 6pm and bed by 7pm.
That's the idea! I can't make him do those things, but I'm trying my best and he is getting more sleep than he was! Which means I can do housework and eat lunch!
It's going to be boring, however, each day I'm going to blog what happens so I can look back on days where everything goes wrong (and I'm sure there will be plenty of those!) I can see that it does work, to spur me on through the screaming fits!
6.20am - 6. 40am Feed.
6.40 - 7.00am Play
7.00am - 7.20am Feed
7.45am Sleep
8.50 woke, re-settled with assistance
9.50 woke, nappy change, tried to occupy until 10.15
10.05am - 10.45am Feed
10.45am - 11.45am Play
11.45am - Sleep.
12.25 - resetteled until 1.55 (5 minute intervals)
1.20 - woke from sleep
1.30 - feed
3.00 - 4.10 sleep couldn't resettle got up at 4.20
4.45 feed
6.00 feed
7pm bed
12 midnight feed
It wasn't really my sleep that was suffering more Charlie's. I'm happy to get up to him twice a night to feed - that seems somewhat reasonable for a 13 week old baby I think. But he wasn't sleeping during the day at all. Perhaps for 20 minutes. I'd heard about SOS from friends and various forums but really didn't want to go down the routine track. I'd heard good things about SOS but probably more bad things. Like it involved letting your baby to cry, which I really wasn't keen on doing. I'd tried a few different tactics to make him sleep better but nothing was working and I was going insane because life was a battle between Charlie and I. He would scream and me and me back at him (one of my bad mother moments) I was close to snapping I think. So I bought SOS on Friday in a last ditch effort to Save Our Sanity.
I've been such a hopeless mother that we have had to start on the 4-6 week old routine!
The idea is he wakes up at 7am and I feed him(haha!) and if he wakes up before then I feed him and then put him back to sleep (haha!) he then hangs out with me until 8.15 and he goes back to sleep and then wakes for a feed at 10.15. Then he plays until 11.45 and then sleeps until 1.30 and feeds. Then we play until 3pm and he has another snooze until 4.45 when he has another feed. At 5.45 he has a bath followed by a feed at 6pm and bed by 7pm.
That's the idea! I can't make him do those things, but I'm trying my best and he is getting more sleep than he was! Which means I can do housework and eat lunch!
It's going to be boring, however, each day I'm going to blog what happens so I can look back on days where everything goes wrong (and I'm sure there will be plenty of those!) I can see that it does work, to spur me on through the screaming fits!
6.20am - 6. 40am Feed.
6.40 - 7.00am Play
7.00am - 7.20am Feed
7.45am Sleep
8.50 woke, re-settled with assistance
9.50 woke, nappy change, tried to occupy until 10.15
10.05am - 10.45am Feed
10.45am - 11.45am Play
11.45am - Sleep.
12.25 - resetteled until 1.55 (5 minute intervals)
1.20 - woke from sleep
1.30 - feed
3.00 - 4.10 sleep couldn't resettle got up at 4.20
4.45 feed
6.00 feed
7pm bed
12 midnight feed
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Tears of Joy
On the 25th of August 2009 Dean and I welcomed Charlie Michael into our lives. He was born at 6.42pm. Weighing 9lb 6oz (4.225kg) and 57cm long.
He is an angel. I still look at him and wonder how we created someone so perfect. I still hurt from the 20 months of trying and our two losses but he has helped ease some of that pain. I think that's why I stopped blogging - I still had (and still have) pain over the two babies we lost and I felt guilty about that. In a way I guess I still do.
I love being a Mum - I'm not sure I'm any good at it! But I do love it!
Charlie is now smiling and trying his very hardest to roll over. He is every bit of his Daddy - a very serious little man, but that makes him all the more funny!
I'm going to try and blog more now - I regret not blogging my pregnancy, I feel like I've forgotten so much already - which is a shame really.
Here are some pictures of how I looked right before I gave birth and of our special little man.
He is an angel. I still look at him and wonder how we created someone so perfect. I still hurt from the 20 months of trying and our two losses but he has helped ease some of that pain. I think that's why I stopped blogging - I still had (and still have) pain over the two babies we lost and I felt guilty about that. In a way I guess I still do.
I love being a Mum - I'm not sure I'm any good at it! But I do love it!
Charlie is now smiling and trying his very hardest to roll over. He is every bit of his Daddy - a very serious little man, but that makes him all the more funny!
I'm going to try and blog more now - I regret not blogging my pregnancy, I feel like I've forgotten so much already - which is a shame really.
Here are some pictures of how I looked right before I gave birth and of our special little man.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
It's been a while....a very long while....
And let me explain why.
When I got pregnant I was over the moon, I was thrilled beyond words. We both were. However I found it really really hard that while I was experiencing such joy others were going through so much pain and turmoil still facing the IF journey. Not just blog readers but dear friends who I know and love. I also had mixed emotions about this baby. While I was happy I was pregnant, I was still so angry, so hurt about the losses of the other two babies. In the back of my mind I wanted Baby Woggie more than I wanted this baby, and that felt wrong, so very very wrong. It took me a long time to overcome that guilt and to fall in love with the little one I am now growing inside me.
So let me give you a run down on the last 4 months!!!
I'm now only 5 and a half weeks away from having this baby!!! Can you beleive it?? I can't!
I threw up consistency until 18 weeks pregnant, and then a few more times after that!! Then at 28 weeks I got diagnosed with GD (Gestational Diabetes) which has made my life somewhat difficult in the last 6 weeks. My sugar levels are not being controlled that well and there is talk of me going on insulin, but when I get to the appointment to go on insulin somehow my body has redemed it's self and given me a few days of great levels. However not in the last week. There has been no last minute redemption thus far.
Because of the GD we had to have a health and wellbeing scan of our amazing little baby. It (we don't know if it is a girl or a boy) is just so so cute. Infact I couldn't be more in love. However our baby is on the large side. It should be measuring about 2.4kgs at this point and is currently measuring 3kgs. Which makes me sad, because I hate that my body is making my baby grow too much than is healthy.
Anyway, enough chatter from me.
Some pictures.
A belly picture from when I last posted to now.
17 weeks
Last week 33 weeks
Some pictures of our little baby....We have no boy names so if you have any suggestions, please make some! We can't see much of Daddy in these, but I think Mummy's lips and nose are there!!!
The room the little one will sleep in
A few from my baby shower last Saturday, it was a great day!
When I got pregnant I was over the moon, I was thrilled beyond words. We both were. However I found it really really hard that while I was experiencing such joy others were going through so much pain and turmoil still facing the IF journey. Not just blog readers but dear friends who I know and love. I also had mixed emotions about this baby. While I was happy I was pregnant, I was still so angry, so hurt about the losses of the other two babies. In the back of my mind I wanted Baby Woggie more than I wanted this baby, and that felt wrong, so very very wrong. It took me a long time to overcome that guilt and to fall in love with the little one I am now growing inside me.
So let me give you a run down on the last 4 months!!!
I'm now only 5 and a half weeks away from having this baby!!! Can you beleive it?? I can't!
I threw up consistency until 18 weeks pregnant, and then a few more times after that!! Then at 28 weeks I got diagnosed with GD (Gestational Diabetes) which has made my life somewhat difficult in the last 6 weeks. My sugar levels are not being controlled that well and there is talk of me going on insulin, but when I get to the appointment to go on insulin somehow my body has redemed it's self and given me a few days of great levels. However not in the last week. There has been no last minute redemption thus far.
Because of the GD we had to have a health and wellbeing scan of our amazing little baby. It (we don't know if it is a girl or a boy) is just so so cute. Infact I couldn't be more in love. However our baby is on the large side. It should be measuring about 2.4kgs at this point and is currently measuring 3kgs. Which makes me sad, because I hate that my body is making my baby grow too much than is healthy.
Anyway, enough chatter from me.
Some pictures.
A belly picture from when I last posted to now.
17 weeks
Last week 33 weeks
Some pictures of our little baby....We have no boy names so if you have any suggestions, please make some! We can't see much of Daddy in these, but I think Mummy's lips and nose are there!!!
The room the little one will sleep in
A few from my baby shower last Saturday, it was a great day!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Please help Australian IVF patients
There are reports that the Australian Government want to slash IVF funding, making it even more difficult, expensive and stressful for them to have the fertility treatment that they need to have a chance at having a family.
You can find more information and how to help here
You can find more information and how to help here
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
You are not just a bunch of cells anymore.
And that kind of scares me. You look like a person and you are 11(ish) centimeters big. And I love you. And I'm petrified something will go wrong. Still. I'm scared that at our next scan at 21 weeks you won't be there anymore. I wish you could give me a great big boot in the ribs to let me know that you are ok.
Why is it that no one tells you, the happiest days of your life are filled with fear? They should tell you that. Every one says you can relax after the 12 week scan, but who actually relaxes? No one I'm sure of that.
Not a great deal is happening here, I've not been sick today! And at 1.40 that's saying something!! I'm hoping to get remarkably better in the next 3 weeks, I've got to start working so it would be handy to be better. I'm not sure how teaching and vomiting at the same time works, let's hope I don't have to find out!
A few weeks ago and the races for my sister in laws birthday, I think I was around 13 weeks.
This is a belly shot taken at 15w2d. (bad hair day)
Why is it that no one tells you, the happiest days of your life are filled with fear? They should tell you that. Every one says you can relax after the 12 week scan, but who actually relaxes? No one I'm sure of that.
Not a great deal is happening here, I've not been sick today! And at 1.40 that's saying something!! I'm hoping to get remarkably better in the next 3 weeks, I've got to start working so it would be handy to be better. I'm not sure how teaching and vomiting at the same time works, let's hope I don't have to find out!
A few weeks ago and the races for my sister in laws birthday, I think I was around 13 weeks.
This is a belly shot taken at 15w2d. (bad hair day)
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Cots, Names & Results
Last Thursday after our scan we ordered our baby cot and cot mattress. It was a surreal moment one in which I thought I'd never be doing for real. We got a great bargain I think, the cot - King Parrot Alice is normally $500.00 (Australian of course) and we got it for $349. Similarly we got the mattress for a great price too - it's the only mattress in Australia that is recognised by SIDS (the charity and awareness group for Sudden Infant Death Syndrome).
We haven't purchased anything else, I really don't know what else apart from a pram to buy - lots of this I suspect, but it's all a bit overwhelming and we need to clear out the room that is to become the nursery before we really get anything.
We have started discussing names - we both find girls names so much easier than boys names, but we are both convinced that this baby is a he, actually I've called it him and my little boy a few times! Not that we mind either way of course but it's very very strange! We won't be finding out until bubs is born. It's funny that everyone thinks you should take their opinion on names into consideration. Dean's mother and my mum's best friend have already told us, they don't like some of our choices. Which bugs me, because they don't have to like our choices it is our baby and we will name it what we choose to. From now on when people ask I think that I'll just say "Willy Wonka for a boy and Strawberry Shortcake for a girl"
On Monday we went to the GP and got our results from the NT scan back. For trisomy 21 the adjusted risk is 1: 8 657 and for trisomy 18 & 13 the adjusted risk is 1: 36 121. Needless to say we were quite happy with those results, although the results were not going to make a difference to keeping this baby or not, it's just nice to know that so far, so good.
We also found out at the doctors that my placenta is anterior - I know it's probably common but I feel somewhat ripped off because I've heard and read that an anterior placenta means that I won't feel the baby move until much later and I won't see body parts sticking out of my tummy and that Dean won't be able to feel the baby from the outside. I hope that is not the case because for so long I've dreamed of holding his hand over my stomach feeling our baby kicking and moving about. I know it's a minor thing to be upset about and in the long run, who really cares. But I would be lying if I said I didn't care, because I do.
I didn't show any pictures from our scan in my post last week, we only have one, but I'll show it to you now. I look at that picture all the time and I still can't beleive that, that little critter is growing inside of me right now. If I'm feeling sorry for myself on really sick days, I just look at my little baby and think how worth it every vomit is (Don't let anyone tell you that morning sickness eases at 12 weeks 15w1d and I can tell you that is a lie - but I can also tell you, it's wonderful knowing why you are sick)
We haven't purchased anything else, I really don't know what else apart from a pram to buy - lots of this I suspect, but it's all a bit overwhelming and we need to clear out the room that is to become the nursery before we really get anything.We have started discussing names - we both find girls names so much easier than boys names, but we are both convinced that this baby is a he, actually I've called it him and my little boy a few times! Not that we mind either way of course but it's very very strange! We won't be finding out until bubs is born. It's funny that everyone thinks you should take their opinion on names into consideration. Dean's mother and my mum's best friend have already told us, they don't like some of our choices. Which bugs me, because they don't have to like our choices it is our baby and we will name it what we choose to. From now on when people ask I think that I'll just say "Willy Wonka for a boy and Strawberry Shortcake for a girl"
On Monday we went to the GP and got our results from the NT scan back. For trisomy 21 the adjusted risk is 1: 8 657 and for trisomy 18 & 13 the adjusted risk is 1: 36 121. Needless to say we were quite happy with those results, although the results were not going to make a difference to keeping this baby or not, it's just nice to know that so far, so good.
We also found out at the doctors that my placenta is anterior - I know it's probably common but I feel somewhat ripped off because I've heard and read that an anterior placenta means that I won't feel the baby move until much later and I won't see body parts sticking out of my tummy and that Dean won't be able to feel the baby from the outside. I hope that is not the case because for so long I've dreamed of holding his hand over my stomach feeling our baby kicking and moving about. I know it's a minor thing to be upset about and in the long run, who really cares. But I would be lying if I said I didn't care, because I do.
I didn't show any pictures from our scan in my post last week, we only have one, but I'll show it to you now. I look at that picture all the time and I still can't beleive that, that little critter is growing inside of me right now. If I'm feeling sorry for myself on really sick days, I just look at my little baby and think how worth it every vomit is (Don't let anyone tell you that morning sickness eases at 12 weeks 15w1d and I can tell you that is a lie - but I can also tell you, it's wonderful knowing why you are sick)
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Perfect.
Our baby is just amazing. Stubborn and naughty, but perfect.
Bubs was measuring at 14w (83mm to be exact!) so I'm now due on the 26th of August 2009 instead of the 5th of September like they told me at the last scan (I knew they were wrong!!!) For about 40 minutes they tried to get the nuchal fold measurement of bub's neck but he/she wasn't playing the game, bubs was far to comfy where it was and was not moving for anyone!! Although it did do a few fancy aerobatic movements!! We saw all of the lovely hands and feet and nose. It was so cute! I had to go for a few walks to see if bubs would move but it didn't work. So we had to go and eat lunch then come back and hope for the best! Eventually after a lot of poking and prodding and fake coughing on my behalf, she got the measurement she was after!!!
So all that worry for nothing. I'm so relieved, I'm 'one of those people' lucky enough to have a viable pregnancy. I feel so blessed.
Bubs was measuring at 14w (83mm to be exact!) so I'm now due on the 26th of August 2009 instead of the 5th of September like they told me at the last scan (I knew they were wrong!!!) For about 40 minutes they tried to get the nuchal fold measurement of bub's neck but he/she wasn't playing the game, bubs was far to comfy where it was and was not moving for anyone!! Although it did do a few fancy aerobatic movements!! We saw all of the lovely hands and feet and nose. It was so cute! I had to go for a few walks to see if bubs would move but it didn't work. So we had to go and eat lunch then come back and hope for the best! Eventually after a lot of poking and prodding and fake coughing on my behalf, she got the measurement she was after!!!
So all that worry for nothing. I'm so relieved, I'm 'one of those people' lucky enough to have a viable pregnancy. I feel so blessed.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Scared
Scared: (Verb) To strike with sudden fear; alarm.
That pretty much sums it up for me right now. In 12 hours we will have seen our baby. I'm petrified. I'm finding it hard to beleive that I'm one of those people that will walk out of the room with a giant smile on my face, happy tears in my eyes and with a picture of my baby. I don't feel like I'm that lucky, or that deserving.
It's hard not to expect the worst.
The only way I can compare what I am feeling is it being the day AF is due and it hasn't arrived yet, your period is never late so you feel hopeful that if you do a pregnancy test it will be positive but you can't get your hopes up because every other time you've done a test it's been negative.
There is no point going to bed because I know I will toss and turn all night long, thinking the worst, hoping for the best.
That pretty much sums it up for me right now. In 12 hours we will have seen our baby. I'm petrified. I'm finding it hard to beleive that I'm one of those people that will walk out of the room with a giant smile on my face, happy tears in my eyes and with a picture of my baby. I don't feel like I'm that lucky, or that deserving.
It's hard not to expect the worst.
The only way I can compare what I am feeling is it being the day AF is due and it hasn't arrived yet, your period is never late so you feel hopeful that if you do a pregnancy test it will be positive but you can't get your hopes up because every other time you've done a test it's been negative.
There is no point going to bed because I know I will toss and turn all night long, thinking the worst, hoping for the best.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Love is...
Mini La La Nappies
Carli is a work at home Mum who makes modern cloth nappies (that's what we are going to use with bubs) she also makes lots of other delicious goodies!
She is so popular that when she had her stocking night on Monday there were over 2000 people on her website and it crashed. I was one of the lucky ones and scored two beautiful nappies and a packet of velour wipes.
I got a red dot disco one and an an avocado damask one. They are divine. They are one size fits most pocket nappies, a nappy should last from when bubs is 3.5kg - 15kg.
Without further a-do I introduce you to my first baby item purchase.
Now a word on the pregnancy.
Today I had my blood test which will be used to determine the risk of downs syndrome for our baby, the blood results will be combined with the scan results. We are not interested in the results by any means. Well we are, but we are not interested in terminating this pregnancy if we come back with a high risk. We are very interested in seeing bubs on Wednesday at our scan though :D
I've been slack with taking belly pictures. But I took one at 6 weeks and then another one last night 12w1d, surprisingly there is a difference.
6 week belly shot
12 week belly shot
I'm starting to get excited about this and I'm feeling a whole lot happier now.
Carli is a work at home Mum who makes modern cloth nappies (that's what we are going to use with bubs) she also makes lots of other delicious goodies!
She is so popular that when she had her stocking night on Monday there were over 2000 people on her website and it crashed. I was one of the lucky ones and scored two beautiful nappies and a packet of velour wipes.
I got a red dot disco one and an an avocado damask one. They are divine. They are one size fits most pocket nappies, a nappy should last from when bubs is 3.5kg - 15kg.
Without further a-do I introduce you to my first baby item purchase.
Now a word on the pregnancy.
Today I had my blood test which will be used to determine the risk of downs syndrome for our baby, the blood results will be combined with the scan results. We are not interested in the results by any means. Well we are, but we are not interested in terminating this pregnancy if we come back with a high risk. We are very interested in seeing bubs on Wednesday at our scan though :D
I've been slack with taking belly pictures. But I took one at 6 weeks and then another one last night 12w1d, surprisingly there is a difference.
6 week belly shot
12 week belly shot
I'm starting to get excited about this and I'm feeling a whole lot happier now.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
What I know about being pregnant.
1. Morning (all day in my case) sickness and vomiting is bad, but it's no where near as bad as having a loss or not knowing if you'll ever have a child of your own.
2. An infertiles pregnancy journey, is vastly different to fertiles pregnancy journey.
3. If you've had a loss, you are constantly convinced it will happen again and again. Even when everything is going perfectly and normally you will find reasons why it isn't.
4. You still need your infertile friends because the pain of long term trying and loss doesn't go away.
5. You have conflicting feelings of joy and love and scaredness and detachment towards your unborn child.
6. Pregnancy books don't deal with what it is like to be pregnant after a loss or a long time trying to concieve.
7. Everyone who knows about your struggles forgets about it because now you are pregnant and 'okay.' It's alright if you are not 'okay'
8. You sometimes feel guilty that you are pregnant and your infertile friends aren't
These may all seem like negatives and they are not supposed to be, it's just a few things that I have noticed in my short 8 week journey so far. I feel like I'm in limbo land. It's an odd feeling. Of course I'm over joyed that I'm pregnant but sometimes I find it difficult to find my place in the realm of infertility and pregnancy. I just am not sure where I fit.
Only 6 sleeps until our scan! I'm actually allowing myself to get excited. In fact, I made a baby purchase the other day. When it arrives I'll tell you all about it.
2. An infertiles pregnancy journey, is vastly different to fertiles pregnancy journey.
3. If you've had a loss, you are constantly convinced it will happen again and again. Even when everything is going perfectly and normally you will find reasons why it isn't.
4. You still need your infertile friends because the pain of long term trying and loss doesn't go away.
5. You have conflicting feelings of joy and love and scaredness and detachment towards your unborn child.
6. Pregnancy books don't deal with what it is like to be pregnant after a loss or a long time trying to concieve.
7. Everyone who knows about your struggles forgets about it because now you are pregnant and 'okay.' It's alright if you are not 'okay'
8. You sometimes feel guilty that you are pregnant and your infertile friends aren't
These may all seem like negatives and they are not supposed to be, it's just a few things that I have noticed in my short 8 week journey so far. I feel like I'm in limbo land. It's an odd feeling. Of course I'm over joyed that I'm pregnant but sometimes I find it difficult to find my place in the realm of infertility and pregnancy. I just am not sure where I fit.
Only 6 sleeps until our scan! I'm actually allowing myself to get excited. In fact, I made a baby purchase the other day. When it arrives I'll tell you all about it.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
12 weeks and 6 months
Today I'm 12 weeks pregnant.
Today is also 6 months since we had our first loss.
I'm trying to feel comfort and joy in the fact that I am pregnant again and I've made it to that 'magical' milestone, although it won't feel that magical until I see our baby again next week at our scan. I'm quitey pooing my pants about that to be perfectly honest. Actually thinking about it (which is all I've done since 5.45 this morning) is giving me a headache. Naturally I'm expecting the worst, which is really negative of me but how can I expect the best when only the worst has ever happened.
So I am happy that I'm 12 weeks pregnant, but I can't get it out of my mind that this time 6 months ago my world was slowly crushing down around me and my heart was breaking and that I saw my husband cry for the first time ever.
I loved that baby so much, we called it Baby Woggie, s/he was due on the 15th of April 2009, s/he will never be born and I'll never know what Baby Woggie looked like, I'll never know what his or her cry sounded like, I'll just never know any of that and it makes me sad.
I feel sad for this baby. Losing Baby Woggie has made me not give it a name, not talk to it and not get attached. Apparently I'm doing all of that as a coping strategy to prepare myself for the worst. To be honest with you it won't matter, if I lose this baby it won't matter that I never gave it a name or talked to it because I still love it and it will break my heart if we do lose it.
So at 12 weeks nothing new is happening, I could be getting a bit of a belly but it could also be bloating. I'm still sick and still happy about it. Although I'm thinking of getting a pillow installed on the toilet floor because tiles are hard and I think I should sit on something soft!!!
As I said our scan is not until next Wednesday so still 7 more sleeps to go, not that I'm counting.
Other than that nothing else is happening.
Today is also 6 months since we had our first loss.
I'm trying to feel comfort and joy in the fact that I am pregnant again and I've made it to that 'magical' milestone, although it won't feel that magical until I see our baby again next week at our scan. I'm quitey pooing my pants about that to be perfectly honest. Actually thinking about it (which is all I've done since 5.45 this morning) is giving me a headache. Naturally I'm expecting the worst, which is really negative of me but how can I expect the best when only the worst has ever happened.
So I am happy that I'm 12 weeks pregnant, but I can't get it out of my mind that this time 6 months ago my world was slowly crushing down around me and my heart was breaking and that I saw my husband cry for the first time ever.
I loved that baby so much, we called it Baby Woggie, s/he was due on the 15th of April 2009, s/he will never be born and I'll never know what Baby Woggie looked like, I'll never know what his or her cry sounded like, I'll just never know any of that and it makes me sad.
I feel sad for this baby. Losing Baby Woggie has made me not give it a name, not talk to it and not get attached. Apparently I'm doing all of that as a coping strategy to prepare myself for the worst. To be honest with you it won't matter, if I lose this baby it won't matter that I never gave it a name or talked to it because I still love it and it will break my heart if we do lose it.
So at 12 weeks nothing new is happening, I could be getting a bit of a belly but it could also be bloating. I'm still sick and still happy about it. Although I'm thinking of getting a pillow installed on the toilet floor because tiles are hard and I think I should sit on something soft!!!
As I said our scan is not until next Wednesday so still 7 more sleeps to go, not that I'm counting.
Other than that nothing else is happening.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
It's been a long time between blogs....
And I apologise. Thank you to the people who have been checking up on me.
I'm ok.
There are a few reason why I haven't blogged recently.
1. Morning sickness which should be called all day sickness, and no one told me that having a spew wouldn't make you feel better. I thought it would be like being drunk, you have a vomit, you get up and you're ready to go again. Not so. Don't mistake this for complaining, because I love it, and I'd happily vomit every day for the rest of my life if it ensured that this little baby makes it into our world safe and sound.
Actually I'm struggling at the moment with people who do complain about morning sickness. I'm a part of an online forum and each month there are Mummy threads, so I am in the September 2009 Mummy Thread. I've longed to be in one of those threads for over two years, from before we started trying. And now I find myself faced with it, I'm finding it difficult. Hearing people whinge about the horrifically of morning sickness and some of the unpleasant things that happen during pregnancy really gets to me. I guess it's that infertile, miscarriage survivor part of me it just hurts seeing people complain about something so, unimportant. There are so many worse things than being sick because you are pregnant. I want people to embrace the sickness, the giant boobs, the copious amounts of CM just like I do. As a blessing as something amazing that only the luckiest of woman get to experience.
2. This is an infertility blog, and I don't know how I feel about writing about pregnancy to an infertile audience and I don't know how you guys feel about reading about some one lucky enough to have lived and survived it. I'd appriciate feedback on this.
3. I'm scared. I'm scared if I write about it, I will jinx it. I was in discussion about 'Normal Pregnancy' today, about how infertility and loss makes successful pregnancy, the ones with baby at the end, something that happens to other people. I hate to admit this and I only did for the first time today, but........ As much as I am so over joyed about being pregnant, as much as I love day dreaming about the day our baby will be born, how our nursery will look, what our baby will be and what we will call him or her. I have no emotional attachment yet. I'm too scared. The first two times the emotional attachment I felt for our babies almost destroyed me when we lost them. It's not a conscious decicion I've made to feel like that, but just something that is. Something that I hope changes over time with this pregnancy.
4. There is not a great deal to say at the moment! Most of the time, I'm a bundle of nerves about what will happen when we go for our next scan in 3 and a half weeks time.
So now a word on the Pregnancy
Today I'm 9w4d, still spewing at least once a day, and generally feeling sick at other times. Other than that, there is not a great deal to say! We told our parents and somehow it seems the entire universe knows, which is really quite disappointing, I was hoping to tell people after our scan at 13 weeks.
Anyway for now, that is all.
I'm ok.
There are a few reason why I haven't blogged recently.
1. Morning sickness which should be called all day sickness, and no one told me that having a spew wouldn't make you feel better. I thought it would be like being drunk, you have a vomit, you get up and you're ready to go again. Not so. Don't mistake this for complaining, because I love it, and I'd happily vomit every day for the rest of my life if it ensured that this little baby makes it into our world safe and sound.
Actually I'm struggling at the moment with people who do complain about morning sickness. I'm a part of an online forum and each month there are Mummy threads, so I am in the September 2009 Mummy Thread. I've longed to be in one of those threads for over two years, from before we started trying. And now I find myself faced with it, I'm finding it difficult. Hearing people whinge about the horrifically of morning sickness and some of the unpleasant things that happen during pregnancy really gets to me. I guess it's that infertile, miscarriage survivor part of me it just hurts seeing people complain about something so, unimportant. There are so many worse things than being sick because you are pregnant. I want people to embrace the sickness, the giant boobs, the copious amounts of CM just like I do. As a blessing as something amazing that only the luckiest of woman get to experience.
2. This is an infertility blog, and I don't know how I feel about writing about pregnancy to an infertile audience and I don't know how you guys feel about reading about some one lucky enough to have lived and survived it. I'd appriciate feedback on this.
3. I'm scared. I'm scared if I write about it, I will jinx it. I was in discussion about 'Normal Pregnancy' today, about how infertility and loss makes successful pregnancy, the ones with baby at the end, something that happens to other people. I hate to admit this and I only did for the first time today, but........ As much as I am so over joyed about being pregnant, as much as I love day dreaming about the day our baby will be born, how our nursery will look, what our baby will be and what we will call him or her. I have no emotional attachment yet. I'm too scared. The first two times the emotional attachment I felt for our babies almost destroyed me when we lost them. It's not a conscious decicion I've made to feel like that, but just something that is. Something that I hope changes over time with this pregnancy.
4. There is not a great deal to say at the moment! Most of the time, I'm a bundle of nerves about what will happen when we go for our next scan in 3 and a half weeks time.
So now a word on the Pregnancy
Today I'm 9w4d, still spewing at least once a day, and generally feeling sick at other times. Other than that, there is not a great deal to say! We told our parents and somehow it seems the entire universe knows, which is really quite disappointing, I was hoping to tell people after our scan at 13 weeks.
Anyway for now, that is all.
Friday, January 9, 2009
An Amazing Day....
***Please don't read this if you are feeling emotional or sensitive about pregnancy at the moment. ***
Yesterday was an amazing day for us. Dean had the day off work, so we slept in and got up, for the first time in about a week I didn't feel sick, which of course I worried about! Since I was feeling well we had breakfast and decided to go and price toilets and ovens! Exciting stuff. As soon as we got in the car I knew that it was a mistake. We managed to look at a few shops and price some ovens (we desperately need a new one, our current gas cook top has explosions when you turn it off!!!) Each time the car stopped I had to dry retch into my bucket.
When we got home I had a little lie down, actually I think I was lying down from 11 - 2! I needed not to worry about being sick because by 11.45 I was vomiting.
At 2 o'clock, I had to empty my bladder and then drink 1L of water between 2 -2.30, I managed doing that, so at 3.00 we set off for the hospital where my scan was. We got there at 3.03!! Yes, the hospital is only 500m away - although I'm not going to deliver at that hospital! I filled out all of the relevant paper work and sat and waited. It seemed like we waited forever, but I don't think we did.
The sonographer was wonderful, she explained she was going to look and my ovaries, tubes and bladder first and then we would get to see baby! She told me that I had ovulated from my left side this cycle!
Finally we got to see that baby, as soon as she got to the sack area I knew was I was looking at and I could see a heartbeat straight away! I was all teary and Dean jumped up out of his chair to get closer!!! It was the most wonderful and perfect thing I've ever ever seen.
Bubs was measuring at 5w5d, she said they can be up to 3 days out because it's so hard to measure when they are so tiny. Based on a number of factors, we know that I'm a bit further along that that so we split the difference and decided on a EDD of 2nd of September 2009. Our little ones heart rate was 115bpm.
Anyway without further a-do, I present, our little baby....
Now a word on the pregnancy.....
I've been vomiting at least twice a day, but it's a wonderful reminder about what is happening inside my body. So I'm not in a position to complain about it! Although my body hasn't changed that much I'm really loving my body these days, in is really quite bizarre.
Yesterday was an amazing day for us. Dean had the day off work, so we slept in and got up, for the first time in about a week I didn't feel sick, which of course I worried about! Since I was feeling well we had breakfast and decided to go and price toilets and ovens! Exciting stuff. As soon as we got in the car I knew that it was a mistake. We managed to look at a few shops and price some ovens (we desperately need a new one, our current gas cook top has explosions when you turn it off!!!) Each time the car stopped I had to dry retch into my bucket.
When we got home I had a little lie down, actually I think I was lying down from 11 - 2! I needed not to worry about being sick because by 11.45 I was vomiting.
At 2 o'clock, I had to empty my bladder and then drink 1L of water between 2 -2.30, I managed doing that, so at 3.00 we set off for the hospital where my scan was. We got there at 3.03!! Yes, the hospital is only 500m away - although I'm not going to deliver at that hospital! I filled out all of the relevant paper work and sat and waited. It seemed like we waited forever, but I don't think we did.
The sonographer was wonderful, she explained she was going to look and my ovaries, tubes and bladder first and then we would get to see baby! She told me that I had ovulated from my left side this cycle!
Finally we got to see that baby, as soon as she got to the sack area I knew was I was looking at and I could see a heartbeat straight away! I was all teary and Dean jumped up out of his chair to get closer!!! It was the most wonderful and perfect thing I've ever ever seen.
Bubs was measuring at 5w5d, she said they can be up to 3 days out because it's so hard to measure when they are so tiny. Based on a number of factors, we know that I'm a bit further along that that so we split the difference and decided on a EDD of 2nd of September 2009. Our little ones heart rate was 115bpm.
Anyway without further a-do, I present, our little baby....
Now a word on the pregnancy.....
I've been vomiting at least twice a day, but it's a wonderful reminder about what is happening inside my body. So I'm not in a position to complain about it! Although my body hasn't changed that much I'm really loving my body these days, in is really quite bizarre.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Dare to Dream..
I got my 6w BhCG results today they were 272 712!!! Quite a lot higher than was expected!
So now I'm starting to believe that this could be the baby that sticks around forever. Which is a scary concept for me. Because that means I'm getting more and more attached to the little grain of rice growing inside of me by the minute.
I'm officially on the vomiting train! I had a spew last night and another one this morning! The rest of the time I just feel slightly nauseous!! But I don't mind not at all, not if it means my little baby is growing nice and big!
So now I'm starting to believe that this could be the baby that sticks around forever. Which is a scary concept for me. Because that means I'm getting more and more attached to the little grain of rice growing inside of me by the minute.
I'm officially on the vomiting train! I had a spew last night and another one this morning! The rest of the time I just feel slightly nauseous!! But I don't mind not at all, not if it means my little baby is growing nice and big!
Sunday, January 4, 2009
A pregnancy milestone....
5w6d!
The most pregnant I've ever been. Hooray for that!
The next milestone I'm setting myself is 6w! LOL that is kind of like cheating since it's less than 24 hours away, but I need to set realistic targets for myself.
After 6w, the next milestone for us, will be to see the baby's heartbeat during our scan on Thursday.
I know these are all things I really can't control, but right now I like thinking that I have control.
I'm so utterly amazed that I have a little baby growing inside of me, it seems so surreal. Apart from moments of feeling ill at around 11am each day, I honestly don't feel any different. Sometimes I tell myself that the ill feel is all in my head. Possibly it is.
Tomorrow I go for another BhCG test and that will be the last of them, so that will give us a fair idea of where we stand for Thursdays ultrasound.
The most pregnant I've ever been. Hooray for that!
The next milestone I'm setting myself is 6w! LOL that is kind of like cheating since it's less than 24 hours away, but I need to set realistic targets for myself.
After 6w, the next milestone for us, will be to see the baby's heartbeat during our scan on Thursday.
I know these are all things I really can't control, but right now I like thinking that I have control.
I'm so utterly amazed that I have a little baby growing inside of me, it seems so surreal. Apart from moments of feeling ill at around 11am each day, I honestly don't feel any different. Sometimes I tell myself that the ill feel is all in my head. Possibly it is.
Tomorrow I go for another BhCG test and that will be the last of them, so that will give us a fair idea of where we stand for Thursdays ultrasound.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Happy New Year!!!
Welcome to 2009!
First of all let me say that I hope that 2009 is a wonderful year for each and everyone of you. May all your dreams come true.
Last night we went to the Irish Club to see our friend Bruce play in his band. It was a fun night, even though I was falling asleep by about 7.30!! I'm sure I was a dead give away as the pregnant lady since I was drinking soda water with lime all night like! I don't even like soda water but water and soda water is all I can seem to fathom drinking at the moment. I had my daily vegie juice this morning and had to make an emergency drip into the bathroom!
Some photos from New Years:
Jo and Dean
Jo and I
Jo playing with the bagpipe band for the first time in 2 years.
Dean and I
Mum and I
A word on the pregnancy:
This morning I had to run to the toilet for the first time! I thought I was going to vomit on the Christmas Tree! I didn't actually vomit but the simple act of just dry retching made me feel slightly better! I'm sure my perspective on this 'morning' sickness is so very different to a lot of the fertiles out there, when I stood up from being hung over the toilet bowl I smiled to Dean and said, this is great!
I'm 5w3d today (or there abouts) and this is the time when I started spotting and bleeding with the first pregnancy, so I'm feeling quite happy and relaxed that none of that is happening right now.
I need to eat snacks regularly, if I don't I start to feel seedy again, so far Anzac Bars have become my friend.
We have our first doctors visit tomorrow and I will be asking for a scan to put my mind at ease, hopefully we will be able to have it done before we go away. I'd love to see our little baby.
First of all let me say that I hope that 2009 is a wonderful year for each and everyone of you. May all your dreams come true.
Last night we went to the Irish Club to see our friend Bruce play in his band. It was a fun night, even though I was falling asleep by about 7.30!! I'm sure I was a dead give away as the pregnant lady since I was drinking soda water with lime all night like! I don't even like soda water but water and soda water is all I can seem to fathom drinking at the moment. I had my daily vegie juice this morning and had to make an emergency drip into the bathroom!
Some photos from New Years:
Jo and Dean
Jo and I
Jo playing with the bagpipe band for the first time in 2 years.
Dean and I
Mum and I
A word on the pregnancy:
This morning I had to run to the toilet for the first time! I thought I was going to vomit on the Christmas Tree! I didn't actually vomit but the simple act of just dry retching made me feel slightly better! I'm sure my perspective on this 'morning' sickness is so very different to a lot of the fertiles out there, when I stood up from being hung over the toilet bowl I smiled to Dean and said, this is great!
I'm 5w3d today (or there abouts) and this is the time when I started spotting and bleeding with the first pregnancy, so I'm feeling quite happy and relaxed that none of that is happening right now.
I need to eat snacks regularly, if I don't I start to feel seedy again, so far Anzac Bars have become my friend.
We have our first doctors visit tomorrow and I will be asking for a scan to put my mind at ease, hopefully we will be able to have it done before we go away. I'd love to see our little baby.
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