I had always planned to breastfeed. I had it in my head that because I had 2 miscarriages and it took almost 2 years for us to have a successful pregnancy so I thought it was my 'right' to be able to breastfeed easily. It didn't occur to me that it would be difficult for me. i had attended an ABA day course and read ""Breastfeeding Naturally" from cover to cover before I went to hospital.
Things went pretty much pear shape from the very start. Charlie had no interest in attaching in the birth suite and only did so because we 'forced' him.
I had NO idea what I was doing - how long I should feed for or anything like that. By day 2 I already had bruised nipples. By that night Charlie was screaming and screaming the MW suggested hand expressing colostrum she helped me but nothing came out. She suggested giving him 20mls of formula but I refused.
By day 3 my nipples were grazed and bleeding, Dean bought me some cream for my nipples and I applied that furiously. We got discharged from hospital that night. I continued feeding on demand but was in a great deal of pain but was determined to breastfeed.
By 8pm on day 4 (we had only been home 24 hours) we had realised Charlie had not urinated since his first nappy change that morning. We rang 13 HEALTH and they told us to take him straight to the hospital. When we got there he had to have 3 blood tests. They asked me to feed him where I was told my attachment was crap. They also insisted we gave him some forumla as at that point the suspected he was dehydrated, the MW in the children's emergency ward showed us how to feed him with a bottle I cried the whole time. Charlie's test results came back as him possibly having a kidney problem, being dehydrated and having too much salt because he had not had enough to eat. He had also dropped to under 3.5kgs (He was born at 4.2). They wanted to keep him in on a drip however they were worried that he may catch an infection being so young so they sent us home with bottles of formula and we were told to feed for 15 minutes on each side and then give him 50mls of formula. They also requested us to come back the next day.
By day 5 my nipples were so damaged I couldn't feed from my left one. That day we went to the supermarket to get a breast pump some formula and some bottles. I felt embarrassed and ashamed buying them so made Dean go through the checkout while I waited outside. We took Charlie back to the hospital that night and he had gained 300 grams in 24 hours. I felt like the worst mother in the world - I had been starving my baby. Once again they got the MW in emergency to help me to breastfeed while they were running the repeat tests on Charlie. After a feed they got me to express and only colostrum came out. My milk still had not come in.
On day 6 my MCHN came to visit and told me she had never seen such badly damaged nipples - she told me to stop feeding and express and do the formula top ups. He was on more formula than breastmilk.
On day 7 I visited the drop in lactation consultant center. They showed me all of the different positions and holds and suggested that I got some fenugreek to help with my supply. I got the fenugreek and started drinking it furiously. By day 10 I was still expressing full time but developed a case of mastitis because I couldn't drain my breast properly.
I had to cancel my appointment at the day stay feeding clinic due to the mastits. Dean went back to work that day and I had to start trying to breastfeed so I started feeding every second feed and topping up with formula. By the following Firday my nipples were back to the damaged state the had been in so I was back to full time expressing and FF feeding. I got an appointment at the feeding clinic. Getting mastitis once again killed my supply so I went back to the GP to get some motillium and was told if I was feeding him by 6 weeks she would be amazed.
At the clinic they told me there was nothing they could do - Charlie's attachment was perfect and he was just one of those babies that damaged nipples. I left feeling so disheartened that we were doing everything right but it still didnt work. I vowed to quit Breastfeeding then and there but Dean kept pushing me and pushing me (I hated him for it so much)
Once I decided that I was going to persist with it I set myself a goal to be only doing bottle feds by the 1st of October then to be totally feeding him breastmilk by the 1st of November then to be 100% breastfeeding by the 1st of December. It took us a while to get there but we did it. There were many tears and tantrums from both of us but I'm glad I stuck it out, I love feeding him now.
Showing posts with label breastfeeding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label breastfeeding. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Charlie Michael's Birth Story
The birth of Charlie Michael
On Sunday the 23rd of August Dean and I woke up at 5.30am to go to the hospital to be induced. I had a shower and then called the hospital to check that I could still come in. I was incredibly disappointed when they told me that birth suite was full and my induction had to be postponed. I called back at 12.00 – the longest 6 hour wait of my life and was told to come in.
When we got there I was admitted and we went to sit in the waiting room for a midwife to come and get us. While we were in there we FINALLY decided if we had a son his name would be Charlie – I told Dean that he could chose the middle name and I really had no ideas! So he decided that Michael would be the baby’s middle name (Dean had wanted to call the baby Michael since forever!)
At 1.30 we got collected by a midwife and went into a examination room in birth suite where I was put on the CTG machine to monitor the baby. At 14.30 the cervidil tape was inserted and I was told I was still 1cm dilated. I got monitored on the CTG for another hour and then I got taken to my bed in the maternity ward. We were told we would be taken back to birth suite at 8.30 the next morning if nothing had happened.
At 5pm on Monday the 24th of August the midwife came and told me that I could remove the cervidil myself as there was no room in birth suite. So I removed the lovely device that did nothing and sat and waited.
At 8.45pm Dean was about to go home when the midwife came in and asked if I’d like to go down to birth suite. So I jumped out of bed and collected all of the things I wanted to use during labour.
When we got down to birth suite I was put on the CTG machine again. While I was being monitored I started having minor contractions. After the CTG I had a vaginal examination and was told I was 2cm dilated. The midwife gave us 2 options to have my waters broken and the synto drip started or to have the prostin gel and sleeping tablets and come back to be induced the following morning. As I had been awake since 5am that morning we opted to have the gel and for me to get some rest. At 10.25pm I had the gel inserted and had a tori contraction which is a long continuous contraction that doesn’t end. After being monitored on the CTG yet again I was taken back to the ward at midnight, given some sleeping tablets and told to rest as tomorrow I would be meeting my baby. I didn’t sleep to badly that night but woke up every so often with minor contractions. I stoped feeling contractions around 4am.
At 8.40am on Wednesday the 25th of August I was taken back to birth suite, where I had an internal and was told I was now 3cm dilated – woohoo only 7cm to go!! At 9.20am the Ob came in to break my waters and hook the baby’s head up to the CTG machine for continual monitoring during labour – this is where things started to divert from my birth plan. I had wanted to spend much of my labour in the water and was now unable to. At 10.35am the synto drip was started and I was told that contractions would start within 1-2 hours later. About 15 mintues after the drip was started I had my first contraction which was manageable with some breathing. At 11.18 I had my first ‘hardcore’ (in Dean’s words) contraction which I got through by rocking squeezing on my stress ball. At that point contractions started coming pretty hard and fast but I was managing them quite well by resting between them and standing and rocking during them.
At about 11.45 I was still having strong contractions but also developed abdominal pain that was worse than the contractions that didn’t go away. I was getting quite distressed as nothing I did would ease the pain. At 12.00 the midwife suggested I use some gas to for the abdominal pain – it helped for the contractions but not for the abdominal pain. At this point I turned into one of those crazy women in labour I was not coping with the abdominal pain – they couldn’t identify what it was so they called in the Ob who thought it just could be the sheer weight on my pelvis as the baby hnd fully engaged – at this point they did another examination and discovered that the baby had turned. The Ob suggested an epidural because by this point I was beside myself screaming and wailing in pain and also because the baby had turned and was now going to be even harder to push out – I believe I used the F bomb towards a few of the midwives and the Ob as they suggested I keep using the gas and I told them the gas wasn’t doing a fucking thing!
The anthesisist came in and gave me the spiel about the risks of the epi and once again I swore at him and told him I didn’t give a shit just to hurry up and give it to me. After the epi was administered at 1.50pm – or maybe before I can’t remember I fell asleep! I was told I was 5cm dilated. The Ob predicted I would be fully dilated by about 7pm and should have my baby by 9pm.
During my abdominal pain ordeal they had turned the synto drip off – however since having the epidural I hadn’t had a contraction so they turned it back on the lowest setting to try and avoid what had happened before. The epidural was low enough that I could feel each contraction which I liked as it gave me something to focus on.
At 5.45 I had to have another internal Fiona my midwife said she thought I would be about 7 or 8cm dilated. She was very surprised when she touched the top of the baby’s head as soon as she put her fingers in!!! She told me that I was ready to push with the next contraction and that I would be meeting my baby very very soon. At this point I started crying, I was so excited that the moment I had waited so long for was about to happen.
10 minutes later I started pushing and they could see the baby’s head – I asked Fiona if the baby had hair and Dean told me not to ruin the surprise! But during the next push he went and had a look – I protested that he knew so they got me a mirror so I could see during my next push. When I saw the full head of dark brown hair – I started crying again!
Dean asked how long would it take for the baby to be born at I said probably a few hours as that’s what I’ve read but Fiona said the baby wasn’t going to wait a few hours to meet us! Tears from me once again!!
At some point during my pushing Fiona made a call to someone and all of a sudden 5 doctors came into the room. Later I found out Charlie had gone into distress – they were preparing for an eptosomy when one doctor said there wasn’t enough time and I had to push the baby out in the very next push. So with the next contraction I did about 5 pushes and at 6.42pm our angel Charlie Michael entered the world. He was placed on my chest and I asked Dean what it was Dean lifted his legs and said “it’s a boy” but then he said to the midwife “is that right?” By now we were both in tears, all of our dreams had finally come true.
At 8.20pm Charlie had his first breastfeed – which is one of the most amazing moments of my life.
Although the labour was not how I had imagine giving birth and everything I didn’t want to happen happened I wouldn’t change it for anything – our little boy is happy and healthy and the light of our lives.
On Sunday the 23rd of August Dean and I woke up at 5.30am to go to the hospital to be induced. I had a shower and then called the hospital to check that I could still come in. I was incredibly disappointed when they told me that birth suite was full and my induction had to be postponed. I called back at 12.00 – the longest 6 hour wait of my life and was told to come in.
When we got there I was admitted and we went to sit in the waiting room for a midwife to come and get us. While we were in there we FINALLY decided if we had a son his name would be Charlie – I told Dean that he could chose the middle name and I really had no ideas! So he decided that Michael would be the baby’s middle name (Dean had wanted to call the baby Michael since forever!)
At 1.30 we got collected by a midwife and went into a examination room in birth suite where I was put on the CTG machine to monitor the baby. At 14.30 the cervidil tape was inserted and I was told I was still 1cm dilated. I got monitored on the CTG for another hour and then I got taken to my bed in the maternity ward. We were told we would be taken back to birth suite at 8.30 the next morning if nothing had happened.
At 5pm on Monday the 24th of August the midwife came and told me that I could remove the cervidil myself as there was no room in birth suite. So I removed the lovely device that did nothing and sat and waited.
At 8.45pm Dean was about to go home when the midwife came in and asked if I’d like to go down to birth suite. So I jumped out of bed and collected all of the things I wanted to use during labour.
When we got down to birth suite I was put on the CTG machine again. While I was being monitored I started having minor contractions. After the CTG I had a vaginal examination and was told I was 2cm dilated. The midwife gave us 2 options to have my waters broken and the synto drip started or to have the prostin gel and sleeping tablets and come back to be induced the following morning. As I had been awake since 5am that morning we opted to have the gel and for me to get some rest. At 10.25pm I had the gel inserted and had a tori contraction which is a long continuous contraction that doesn’t end. After being monitored on the CTG yet again I was taken back to the ward at midnight, given some sleeping tablets and told to rest as tomorrow I would be meeting my baby. I didn’t sleep to badly that night but woke up every so often with minor contractions. I stoped feeling contractions around 4am.
At 8.40am on Wednesday the 25th of August I was taken back to birth suite, where I had an internal and was told I was now 3cm dilated – woohoo only 7cm to go!! At 9.20am the Ob came in to break my waters and hook the baby’s head up to the CTG machine for continual monitoring during labour – this is where things started to divert from my birth plan. I had wanted to spend much of my labour in the water and was now unable to. At 10.35am the synto drip was started and I was told that contractions would start within 1-2 hours later. About 15 mintues after the drip was started I had my first contraction which was manageable with some breathing. At 11.18 I had my first ‘hardcore’ (in Dean’s words) contraction which I got through by rocking squeezing on my stress ball. At that point contractions started coming pretty hard and fast but I was managing them quite well by resting between them and standing and rocking during them.
At about 11.45 I was still having strong contractions but also developed abdominal pain that was worse than the contractions that didn’t go away. I was getting quite distressed as nothing I did would ease the pain. At 12.00 the midwife suggested I use some gas to for the abdominal pain – it helped for the contractions but not for the abdominal pain. At this point I turned into one of those crazy women in labour I was not coping with the abdominal pain – they couldn’t identify what it was so they called in the Ob who thought it just could be the sheer weight on my pelvis as the baby hnd fully engaged – at this point they did another examination and discovered that the baby had turned. The Ob suggested an epidural because by this point I was beside myself screaming and wailing in pain and also because the baby had turned and was now going to be even harder to push out – I believe I used the F bomb towards a few of the midwives and the Ob as they suggested I keep using the gas and I told them the gas wasn’t doing a fucking thing!
The anthesisist came in and gave me the spiel about the risks of the epi and once again I swore at him and told him I didn’t give a shit just to hurry up and give it to me. After the epi was administered at 1.50pm – or maybe before I can’t remember I fell asleep! I was told I was 5cm dilated. The Ob predicted I would be fully dilated by about 7pm and should have my baby by 9pm.
During my abdominal pain ordeal they had turned the synto drip off – however since having the epidural I hadn’t had a contraction so they turned it back on the lowest setting to try and avoid what had happened before. The epidural was low enough that I could feel each contraction which I liked as it gave me something to focus on.
At 5.45 I had to have another internal Fiona my midwife said she thought I would be about 7 or 8cm dilated. She was very surprised when she touched the top of the baby’s head as soon as she put her fingers in!!! She told me that I was ready to push with the next contraction and that I would be meeting my baby very very soon. At this point I started crying, I was so excited that the moment I had waited so long for was about to happen.
10 minutes later I started pushing and they could see the baby’s head – I asked Fiona if the baby had hair and Dean told me not to ruin the surprise! But during the next push he went and had a look – I protested that he knew so they got me a mirror so I could see during my next push. When I saw the full head of dark brown hair – I started crying again!
Dean asked how long would it take for the baby to be born at I said probably a few hours as that’s what I’ve read but Fiona said the baby wasn’t going to wait a few hours to meet us! Tears from me once again!!
At some point during my pushing Fiona made a call to someone and all of a sudden 5 doctors came into the room. Later I found out Charlie had gone into distress – they were preparing for an eptosomy when one doctor said there wasn’t enough time and I had to push the baby out in the very next push. So with the next contraction I did about 5 pushes and at 6.42pm our angel Charlie Michael entered the world. He was placed on my chest and I asked Dean what it was Dean lifted his legs and said “it’s a boy” but then he said to the midwife “is that right?” By now we were both in tears, all of our dreams had finally come true.
At 8.20pm Charlie had his first breastfeed – which is one of the most amazing moments of my life.
Although the labour was not how I had imagine giving birth and everything I didn’t want to happen happened I wouldn’t change it for anything – our little boy is happy and healthy and the light of our lives.
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