1. Morning (all day in my case) sickness and vomiting is bad, but it's no where near as bad as having a loss or not knowing if you'll ever have a child of your own.
2. An infertiles pregnancy journey, is vastly different to fertiles pregnancy journey.
3. If you've had a loss, you are constantly convinced it will happen again and again. Even when everything is going perfectly and normally you will find reasons why it isn't.
4. You still need your infertile friends because the pain of long term trying and loss doesn't go away.
5. You have conflicting feelings of joy and love and scaredness and detachment towards your unborn child.
6. Pregnancy books don't deal with what it is like to be pregnant after a loss or a long time trying to concieve.
7. Everyone who knows about your struggles forgets about it because now you are pregnant and 'okay.' It's alright if you are not 'okay'
8. You sometimes feel guilty that you are pregnant and your infertile friends aren't
These may all seem like negatives and they are not supposed to be, it's just a few things that I have noticed in my short 8 week journey so far. I feel like I'm in limbo land. It's an odd feeling. Of course I'm over joyed that I'm pregnant but sometimes I find it difficult to find my place in the realm of infertility and pregnancy. I just am not sure where I fit.
Only 6 sleeps until our scan! I'm actually allowing myself to get excited. In fact, I made a baby purchase the other day. When it arrives I'll tell you all about it.
3 comments:
You are dead on!! It's like you read my mind!
Good things only on the scan in 6 non sleep filled nights!
(((Hugs)))
It truly amazes me how we all are different and we all have different journeys but a lot of the feelings are the same. I can so relate to #4 and #8... Take care
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