I realise that it's only 1 week until I was supposed to be 12 weeks into my pregnancy and I was supposed to be having my first scan next week, and it hurts my heart, a lot. Please someone tell me that it will get easier around all the mile stones to do with my pregnancy that will never be? Please someone tell me that I'll be pregnant before too long and it will all be a painful memory and it will stop hurting my heart.
When I first found out I was pregnant and figured out the date that I would be 12 weeks (1st of October), it seemed like a life time away that I would have to wait for that first scan and for that first milestone to get here. And now I look back and think how fast it has gone and how it was not really that long to begin with. Now here I am supposed to be 11 weeks pregnant today and I'm no closer to being pregnant that I was 18 months ago.
I just want to stop feeling pain all the time. I don't want to forget Baby Woggie, but I want it to stop hurting.
I didn't want to post this because I'm really trying hard to stay positive and happy, but I just needed to get it out.
30 comments:
I'm so sorry for your loss and overwhelmed that you commented on my blog. I remember how hard it was to read "pregnant" blogs when I was going through failure after failure. I know all these milestones will be hard and I wish there was something I could say to make it better. I hope and pray that your miracle is right around the corner. ((hugs))
BabyDustDiaries (ILCM)
I'm sorry I don't have any words of wisdom for you.. just hugs from afar. Take care.
(ICLW)
Im sorry, I wish I could say something that would make it better. I do know that right now it hurts all the time, sometime it will get less but it never goes away completely. I have had 4 and milestones are tough. Hang in there! Sending you lots of ((HUGS)) and prayers.
I can't speak from experience, but I do hope time heals your sense of loss.
ICLW
I'm so sorry for your loss. I've had 3 miscarriages, and unfortunately there are no guarantees. I wish I could be more helpful. The pain does eventually get better with time. Don't be so hard on yourself, no one is expecting you to be positive and up beat. Be kind to yourself and most of all give yourself time to grieve. You will never get over it, but you will get through it.
(((HUGS)))
Here from ICLW...
Postive, schmositive. Who says you need to stay positive? I think you've earned your right to grieve. I have not experienced what you have but I do know something about grief. It's a necessary forest that you have to walk through and there are no short cuts. Give yourself some time and the right to take that time.
Absoululy, GET IT OUT and I'll be honest with you - the "firsts" and milestones, for the first year at least, are killer. Yes, having a new pregnancy will dull them, but they are still there - but - that said, SO ARE WE!
Lean on us whenever you need and please never worry about posing your emotions - lay 'em on us - that's what we are here for!
I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I think its good to stay positive but I also know there are times when you just need to let it all out so you can be more positive. Hang in there.
Our due dates were very close... I should be 13 weeks this week. I think the waiting part is definitely the hardest. I know you don't want to forget, and you never will, but hopefully you'll get pregnant very soon, and hopefully that will give you something new and wonderful to think about. That being said, never apologize for being sad. I'm still very sad, and I'm not expecting that it will get easier for a while. Good luck.
I'm so sorry, sweetie. The pain comes in waves. It ebbs and it flows, just when you think you're feeling better.
I don't have any assvice. Just want you to know that I'm here, reading on and that I'm sending you lots of hugs during this time, anytime.
(((((hugs, my dear friend)))))
Yes it does get better. It's still hard, but it gets better. Just take all the time you need, grieve how you need to, and you will slowly start to heal. I can't imagine how hard it will be on my due date, but hopefully I will live through it, and I pray that you do too!!!
I'm very sorry for your loss. I wish I had some wise words for you. The milestones will most likely be hard. In time though, it will get easier. The pain won't go away, but it shouldn't be constant. Take this time to feel the pain though, don't feel bad for hurting.
Take care, hugs!
ICLW
I am so sorry for your loss. It is OK to let it out. Best wishes to you!
ICLW
Dear Mrs Woogie, I'm sorry for your loss. {{{hugs}}}
I lost 2 of mine, too, and it was devastating. I, too, grieved and took refuge under the loving embrace of the Lord.
I wish you the peace that passes understanding...hang in there...{{{hugs again}}}
I'm so sorry. Don't feel like you have to be positive, you need to let it out when the sadness comes or else it will start showing up when you least expect it. (HUGS)
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. No advice just want to send some hugs.
ICLW
Thanks for stopping by my blog.
I am so sorry for what you are going through. I wish you good things in the future. Hugs
Oh I wish I could just give you a big hug. The pain does get better with time. It takes the edge off. It is still there but, it gets softer around the edges. You will never forget your little one. Us mothers are not wired like that.
I don't know if you believe the way that I do but, just letting you know that I will be praying for you. (((HUGS))
ICLW
I am so very sorry you are hurting. It truly sucks and, while you will notice dates for a while, it will get better.
{{{Hugs}}} and prayers for peace of mind.
Picture a kitten hanging from a cliff with the caption Hang in there!
Hugs.
ICLW
You are more than welcome for all the visits. In fact, your stuck with me. Once a blog moves me and I put in on my blogroll, I attempt to get there everyday and check in for any new posts!
You'll be seeing a lot more of me.
Hang in there!!
It is a hard, hard path to walk down, my friend. Find a few people, whether Mr. Woggie, parents, etc., whom you can let it all out too. Lots of people/women can't understand the loss when you've wanted something like this so badly - your dream come true only to be yanked away. So stay away from those folks - really protect yourself. It's been 6 months for me, and I still find myself grieving.
Thank-you for stopping by my blog, too:)
(Big hugs)
I think you have every right to grieve but I hope it'll get easier for you. I hope you will get soon something much more positive to think about :)!
And thanks so much for your support. It really means a lot.
I am sorry sweetie. Don't be so hard on yourself, some days are easy and some are not. I have those days when I think I am fine and then I start dwelling on when my due date should be. (hugs)
ICLW
I understand exactly what you're feeling as I too am experiencing it. I would have been in my third trimester on October 2nd, so that date will not go unnoticed. Of course, neither will my due date. I can't give you any advice on this because I'm still in the same boat as you are and the pain is still fresh. But I can give you the virtual *hugs* and hope that it eases for all of us sometime down the road.
K, you WILL get past this! I promise you!
well..not so much that you will "get passed" it, but that you will get 'through' it...
much love and hugs
xoxo
Here from ICLW. I am so sorry about your loss. I similarly lost a child at 5w3d last fall. I found milestones to be so hard. I had my toughest time around my estimated due date (June 19th).
I wish someone told me how hard grieving for the loss would be. Just let your self feel your emotions, don't let anyone tell you to move on or get over it.
All the best to you. Thank you for coming to my blog lately, I know it must be hard to read about a pregnancy.
I'm so very sorry for your loss and how it's still so painful for you. I'm told time does heal, but it's still different for everyone. I wish I could fortell your future and tell you when everything will be okay again. ~hugs~
iclw
I promise you it will get better. I can't promise you won't stop thinking about it on the those milestone days. 20 weeks, 36 weeks, your due date. Those were my hard weeks. I lost twins at 11 weeks. It was my first pregnancy and it was devastating. I was due on Thanksgiving and didn't go anywhere that day.
Grieve as long as you feel you need to. Don't force yourself to stay positive. If you need to be sad, be sad. If you need to cry, then cry. And, if you need to yell and punch the wall, buy a heavy bag. Trust me, it's cheaper than fixing the walls and doesn't hurt your hands as much.
Things will get better and the pain will fade with time. And, that is what you need right now, time.
By the way, thanks for your comment and your positive thoughts.
Hang in there - believe it or not, it will eventually get less burdensome. You will never forget (remembering is a deep part of loving) but after awhile you find that the days and the milestone don't hurt quite as much as they did the first time. You've had a loss - you must grieve, in the manner that suits you best.
Hugs from someone who understands (x4).
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